A note to Farfel ...

Dear Farfel,

It's been two weeks and one day -- and I miss you more and more each day!  I know you are happy, healthy, and having a great time. I am happy for that -- but extremely unhappy you are not here with me.

I took Star to Nancy's yesterday -- another loss for me :( She should be having her babies in a few days. I didn't want to part with her -- but, with Nancy she will be safe, secure, and have her babies in a very calm environment ... cuz, I don't know nothin' about birthin' no puppies!! The house is so quiet -- it was quiet with Star here -- hehehe, but.... since you don't yell at her every time she barks --she has been barking more, in her little raspy Foghorn Mary bark. I miss your bark, and your sassing, and how you would bark ferociously at the TV at those horrible dogs who were trying to make their way into our living room :)

I wish I had you back. You were such a comfort to me -- always. You were a wonderful dog Farfel -- I am so happy that we found each other  :)  I miss you.  Time hasn't healed these wounds.  You were my best friend forever -- thanks  for being you  :)

I told Nancy I wanted to reserve a puppy.  Nobody could replace you  :)   It has to be a little boy puppy :)  I think Star will like living with her son. She can be the boss  :)  We have treated Star like a little princess these last two weeks. Farfel -- I don't think she misses you, or else she hides it very well.   She is such a sweet girl.  
We love her  :)

I was thinking of names for the new puppy -- Farfel Too -- cute :)  But .... with shortening and nicknames.... we felt he would end up being called Far too ... and eventually Fart -- nope!  I can hear you chuckling. That isn't a name for an Airedale -- especially your successor  :)  We will just have to see him and decide on a good, proud Airedale name --- there can be just one ... Farfel the ONLY Airedale in the Village  :)  

Nancy offered me a "loaner"  dog -- Star's daughter from a previous litter -- I haven't decided yet.  I really haven't decided 100% on a puppy -- but, the anticipation would be good for me. I want to make sure everything is good for Star  :)  

In my weird mind -- I feel with your passing... and the puppy's arrival -- maybe somehow you two could pass each other -- and rub off on each other  :)  I guess stranger things have happened.

The Vet's office sent a very nice card. They all signed it  :)  The Doc wrote a very sweet note -- and they enclosed your paw print. It's beautiful  :) It makes me sad to look at it -- but at the same time, it makes me feel close to you. Today -- I pick up your ashes. It will be difficult.

I have to tell you about all of your wonderful friends who have been so thoughtful with their comments :) I only wish I could have those comments when I go  :)  You were a special guy  :)

Be well Farfel :)  I will miss you forever...

Love,

MOMMY

I miss your gorgeous nose  :)

Thank you :)

I want to thank all who have commented and so kindly gave me their condolences for Farfel.  New friends, old friends, cousins, family, and people I don't even know -- how wonderful you all have been to me.

Thank you for putting up with my depressing blogs, super long photo montage (I couldn't help it -- I couldn't stop!!  :) ) , and for all of your great advice :) I appreciate all of you  :)

Monday was the most difficult day. I don't regret my decision, I just wish that I never had to make that decision.  I am definitely not handling it well -- I want him back.

In about 10 days or so, I will be sending Star to Nancy, at Easdale Kennels. As I have mentioned before Star is a Seneca Airedale, and Nancy IS Seneca Airedales.  Star's babies are due around the 25th of June. So in 10 days, I will experience another loss -- Star :( Good thing though, Easdale is only about 5 minutes away from me, so --- (sorry Nancy :))  I imagine I will be coming to see Star verrrry often.  It will also be the first time in 10 years I will be without an Airedale in my life -- utter torture to say the least :(    I will probably be getting Star back  in August sometime. I have been discussing with my sons about getting another Airedale. Of course it would mean a lot to have one of Star's babies. Nothing could ever replace Farfel, but puppy breath is very healing  :)

I would also like to mention just how great my sons have been through all of this -- Ryan, who was in NYC when the decision was made was very close to Farfel.  Mark, who carried Farfel from the house, to the car, and into the vets...but couldn't stay -- very understandable, and my son Joey who was with me the entire time, and who helped me get Farfel in and out of the house, and gave him a lot of love during this sad time. I have called Joey Farfel's nemesis throughout the years -- Actually it was truly a serious case of sibling rivlary...funniest thing -- they would argue, play..etc.... like two kids  :)  Joey feels his loss deeply  :(

Sooo sweet little Star  :)  She is oblivious. I don't think she realizes or cares that Farfel the loud-mouth isn't around.  The house is soooo quiet. there is nobody attacking the TV ... nobody barking at a distant bark... nobody barking at absolutely nothing ... and nobody sassing me loudly, or barking louder when I say SHHHHHHHHH  :)  It's quiet here  --- Star is a quiet polite girl.  She is happy, healthy, and quirky  :)

Not sure if I will blog anymore.... I just wanted to thank everybody .... Thanks again to all   :)

Patti, and Star *

Oh crap.... Farfel toooooo   :)  

Such a handsome guy -- I will miss him forever!

I'm Here :)

I, Farfel, the ONLY Airedale in the Village, am no longer the ONLY Airedale in the Village. It's OK, I am at the Rainbow Bridge surrounded by so many wonderful friends -- Sweet Angel Molly (Fergi and Jake's sister), Miss Maggie (Mitch and wee Molly's sister), two lovely Lily's, little Justin, Eliot, Sybil,  and so many more friends.

At first I was confused -- I thought the Rainbow Bridge was for the gay dogs  :)

Rainbow Flag

My MOMMY did explain to me that Rainbow Bridge and the Rainbow Flag were two entirely different things. 

Rainbow Bridge

Either way, they both depict beautiful things  :)  At the Rainbow Bridge, everything is happy and full of love!!  I ran across the bridge -- zooooming!!!  My legs felt like wings!!!  I bet I can jump higher than "spring-feet" Star!!  I hope Star is keeping my MOMMY company and making her feel happy!!  She better, or else I will swoop down and steal her food  :)  

There is no pain or sadness here -- I don't miss anyone -- I just love them more and more and am so happy I have so many people who love me!! I can run up steps now --- two at a time even!!!  I can jump on the highest bed, and sleep on my back again  :)  I can sing, howl, and bark as loud as I want!!! I don't have to be on a diet!!!!  YAY!!!  Life is special here!!   I am safe, secure, happy, and not lonely!!!  

Thank you all for caring about me. It means a lot to me and my MOMMY.  You are all special people, who have special furkids! We at the Rainbow Bridge will always remain in your hearts -- forever  :) 

Love,

Farfel, the ONLY Airedale in the Village ....but one of the many at the Rainbow Bridge  :)

A special goodbye to my Lovely Miss Fergi..and Jake, my first best friend  :)

Farfel speaks........ :)

I, Farfel, the ONLY Airedale in the Village have decided to write --- it IS MY blog ya know  :)   Those who have known me, know me as a long-time blogger. I started waaay back on MySpace, where I met Jake, and the Lovely Miss Fergi (sigh).  I blogged long before MOMMY -- yes, I am the more talented one, but MOMMY does have her good qualities.

MOMMY gave me the ONLY Airedale in the Village title. She didn't think it up -- of course, she got it from a BBC series "Little Britain."  The original saying was... "I'm the ONLY Gay in the Village!"  You have to watch the show to see the humor  :)

Yes, this disease sucks !!!   There is NO dignity... and I am one dignified kind of guy  :)   Yes, I lick myself, but... with the utmost dignity  :)   And...because I can  :)  Tonight, Joey (grrrr, my nemesis) had to carry me in the house. He is skinny, and probably doesn't weigh as much as me... but... HE carried me in... ugh --- THEN...as I was laying on a soft blanket, the torturer, decided to drag me to the back door -- on the blanket. Well, I showed him ... I didn't go out  :)  I will go out later with my MOMMY -- I hope. I am pretty tired today.  My front legs are acting up!!  UGH!!  MOMMY read where it affects the tails on some dogs... well, I still wag my thumb-sized tail  :)  It is an awesome tail.

I agree with my MOMMY about not getting a wheelchair, and all of that other stuff. First, we live in a condo, and to get to the street there are steps, and... quite an incline. Welll, I can imagine being all hooked up to the chair... and Star (the interloper), giving it a little nudge -- and there I would gooooooo zooooooming down the hill without the benefit of a good butt-tuck-run. Diapers....no. I couldn't.  I have always been potty trained. It would mortify me to go in the house -- even if I would be going in diapers. I can think of nothing that would even make the idea moderately attractive. Star -- well, sometimes she leaves a little stinky present for MOMMY.  Star acts like it's the crown jewels or something.  Sometimes she gets a guilty look on her face (Star, not MOMMY).  Not often though... sometimes I think I can hear her giggling (Star, not MOMMY).

Of course I do not want to leave my MOMMY.  I haven't fully trained her yet.  Who will be there to wipe their soaking wet beard in her gentlemen (HA, very funny) caller's crotches?? Not Star, she is TOO polite!! I really wanted to get MOMMY married off -- before I go. Not sure if she wants that -- but, she could use a companion almost as smart, funny, handsome, wonderful ...( OK... you get my drift  :) ) as me  :)  There are many dating sites out there -- Christian Mingles... "Let God find your match."  Does God have to be associated with a dating site to find one's love match ??  Old people matches, Horse Lovers matches, J-Date, for the Jewish persuasion...and many others. Funny thing though.... people are totally intermingled on these sites!!!  And... most have been on these sites for yeaaaars!!   I propose someone invent an Airedale Terrier Lovers Dating site!!!  Then I know MOMMY would find the right match for her !!!  If I may add --- The Airedale Terrier Lover should also be very good looking, intelligent, funny....and RICH (hehehehe).  In return, you will be getting an Airedale Terrier Lover, who is intelligent, funny, extremely beautiful (heheheh)...and not so wealthy... but hey, if you have the money...it's all good!!   No humine man could ever replace me.... but, it's worth a try   :)

Whatever MOMMY decides is OK with me. This disease is harder on her than it is on me. MOMMY would never admit it though. MOMMY has devoted the last month to me. Her disease ... Hashimoto's ... hehehe stupid name for a disease,,,has been forgotten for now.  I hear her sniffling all of the time. When she lays down with me... my ear ends up soaked, and salty. I don't mind  :)  I know Star sneaks up to bed with MOMMY. I don't mind that either. MOMMY needs Star right now. I wish it could be me, but...it can't :( I am happy for every moment I have with MOMMY, as she is with me. For now, we are going to enjoy each other's company, and be as happy as we can  :)

Love,

Farfel

MOMMY loves and appreciates all of the comments and E-mails. She learned a new word today -- twice ... "Heart-Dog" .. yes, I am her heart-dog, and she is my heart-MOMMY  :)

Thank you everybody  :)

Heart-Dog and Heart-MOMMY  :)

Dogs are special :)

Farfel, my ONLY Airedale in the Village, has been with me since he was about 12 weeks old.  I have had many dogs in my lifetime. From my beginning there has been Togi Mar, a Boxer, Coco, a beautiful Standard Poodle, Cyrano, a Miniature Poodle, Pandora, a beautiful Mutt -- who looked like a perfect miniature German Shepherd, Pogo, a wonderful 100 pound Standard Poodle, Muffy, an Old English Sheepdog, Laika, a Samoyed, who smiled all of the time,  Pete, a Mutt, Josie, an English Springer Spaniel, Benji, a Golden Retriever, who was a wanderer, BJ, another Golden Retriever, Jazz, a huge gentle Akita, Nick, my sweet Black Lab, and finally -- Farfel.  All wonderful dogs who I was separated from by many different reasons -- Some were stolen, several died of old age, one ran away, and several were SENT away by my NON-DOG-LOVING parents. Thankfully, I did not inherit that particular trait!!!  Their loss though -- not knowing just how wonderful, loving, and being able to understand what a dog has to offer.

I wasn't an introverted unpopular kid. It isn't that I needed the friendship of a dog to keep me company. I just preferred the company of my dogs!!  I also preferred the company of horses as well. Not cats so much.  My pets offered so much more than my siblings -- and going with a typical Greek Vendetta -- my brother and sister are "dead to me!" Even though they are alive (I think, I honestly have no idea, nor do I care). Neither of them could hold a handle to any of my dogs, or for that matter, any dog, cat, vermin...snake...you get my meaning  :) Anyway, I learned from a very young age what my pets have meant to me. I find non-dog lovers to be different. People who seem to be missing something. People who I might know, but would never be close to me. I guess that would make me a judgmental racist -- that's OK with me  :)

All my dogs have been special. Farfel, however is the most special. There is nothing like a Terrier, and there is nothing like an Airedale Terrier :)   Farfel is handsome, funny, loving .. I could go on, and on  :)   He is one dog I truly have chemistry with, He gets me. He is very special to me. I am very attached to him, He has been with me through some very bad times in my life -- and because of him (seriously), I made it through.

Dogs give the most unconditional love there is -- they are a gift. Humines, who have the big brains, big educations, and life experiences could learn a lesson or two or 19 from a dog.  I only wish the men I have been in relationships over the years could even come close to Farfel. There is only ONE way they could "offer" me something Farfel could not -- and... ya know... sometimes that isn't so great -- even though the stupid men think they are "talented" Romeos  :)  Poor men  :)  Hahaha !  Farfel loves me... fat or thin...happy or sad...makeup or no makeup ... old or young... etc., etc., etc.. I could write an entire blog about Farfel compared to the men I have dated -- Farfel would win hands down :)  One more thing... have you ever known a dog to abuse their owner... or have a drinking or drug problem ??? Nope  :)

I haven't forgotten about Star!  She is beautiful, sweet, quirky, and she is obsessed with me. I got her in November of 2010. She was 5 then. Since then she has been separated from me to be bred, have her puppies...and wean her puppies. She has been bred again, and will be leaving me in a few weeks to have her next litter. It has been a process bonding with her. She has a need to feel wanted and secure. I don't know a lot about her past -- other than she was a show dog.  I don't think she was raised as a family pet. I had to force her to get on my bed and the furniture -- yes I know, how ODD for an Airedale  :)  She doesn't play with toys -- kind of nibbles them. She loves food and treats. She is a wonderful dog with the sweetest temperament. With a little work -- she now loves HER couch, and she has taken over my bed  :)   She has been very sweet during this sad time with Farfel. They still do not snuggle, and probably never will  :(

Farfel is not doing well at all. He is getting worse daily. His quality of life is dwindling. Financially I cannot get him doggie wheels, acupuncture, swimming therapy, diapers, expensive medication .... and anything else that MIGHT provide some hope -- but in the end, only prolong the inevitable. Right now Farfel is basically confined to one room. He has his little ramp to go outside -- which is getting very difficult. He does not want to go outside. It makes me sad when he finally does go out -- that he has held his pee for so long that he can hardly stand up to go anymore. Today, even with my help, he fell face first down the ramp. He fell several times when he was going to the bathroom.  He came in... went about three feet... and plopped down. He couldn't go any further. He doesn't get up when I come in the house anymore. Before (yesterday), he would get up, and hobble to me. He can't go to his toy box, take time and select just the right toy...try to break it's neck, remove the eyes...and remove all of the stuffing.   There is no dignity in this disease. There is no getting better. Even if I could financially give Farfel everything, the result is the same. I am not ready to give up on Farfel yet -- even though he is not happy...he IS bewildered, sad, frustrated, confused, and scared.  I don't want to lose him. I don't want to make an appointment for "when it's time!"  I can't even imagine how they day is going to play out -- I don't want to imagine it. This is so unfair that he (and other dogs) has to go through this...it's just wrong. I am ashamed to say......that sometimes I wish he would just go to sleep ....dream about all of the fun we used to have ... his running...his beautiful prancing....his singing...and how much we all love him .....then just not wake up.

Patti, Farfel, and Star

Very sad, but so sweet. It says it all  :) I don't know who wrote it. 

Thanks to all who have commented, and written to me. It means a lot.  I am not myself these days.

Farfel and his Festus foot :)

FESTUS

FARFEL

 

 

   












Well, no more depressing blogs!!!  Would Farfel, the ONLY Airedale in the Village want that -- NO!!  Of course he would want to be the center of every one's attention and the center of every one's Universe -- but, he is sick of all the depressing stuff -- me too  :)

I, as well as some members of my family have always used humor as a way to cope.  Instead of dwelling on my brain tumor -- I named it Hector. I named Farfel's tumor -- Anthony Weiner. I had a party right before my bilateral mastectomy-- the infamous "Ta Ta to the TaTa's" party. Making fun of myself, as well as others (behind their backs ..of course)  can help.  It's difficult for me to make light of Farfel's ordeal, or even make fun of him --- it doesn't seem right -- but, I gotta try  :)

I was letting Farfel outside today..feeling bad for him when I noticed his "limp."  He was walking kind of funny -- kind of like the Monty Python guy --- but not as much!  It dawned on me...he was walking like Festus on Gunsmoke. Remember him ?    Well, sadly, (or happy) I laughed  :)  Farfel turns around and looks at me with that WTF look on his face ...then since I was laughing, he got excited...and limped over to me...with his "Festus foot!"  I could almost hear him say .... Missssster Dillllllon....even though I am more of the Miss Kitty type  :)   


This morning was kind of sad (I said no more sad blogs -- wait, it gets better)...he was looking at the couch where Star, the PrinCESS (emphasis on the last syllable) was lounging. He wanted to get up on it ---  He put his front legs on the couch and I lifted his rear-end up .. and he sprawled...totally getting into Star's "space!" hehehee .... :)   I had to leave... and I didn't want to make Farfel get off the couch, so I put the love seat cushions on the floor by the couch (in case he tried to get off)...and was still worried that he would fall off and hurt himself.... well, I was explaining this to my son....saying how worried I was to leave him...and looked... and there was Farfel...off the couch... staring at us  :) 

He is a happy guy ... always has been.... he deserves a happy blog  :) He has no idea who Festus is.... but it's OK ... he has no idea who the Nestle's Quick dog is   ..... :)  Farfel thinks he is the ONLY Airedale in the Village named Farfel  :)

Patti, Farfel, and Star  :)

Airedale eyes ....window to the soul ..

They .. (never quite figured out who "they" are) .. say, dogs do not have souls, and therefore do not go to Heaven.. I am not an overly religious person...but being baptized, raised, and married Greek Orthodox (the wedding was longer than the marriage!).. I think I know .... some stuff  :)   My opinion --- if Heaven  is THE place to be ...and everything is perfect..then...there will be dogs in heaven, and....the majority of the dogs I have ever come across have more soul than some humines!  God made dogs.... God loves all of his creations....they will be in heaven.  If and when I go...I certainly would love for all of the dogs I have ever had, to meet me  :)  If God had a dog ...I don't think it would be an Airedale  :)  Not that the wonderful Airedale is not worthy...and I am sure that God can handle any dog....but, I see him as being more of ...Chinese Crested kind of guy ... those dogs seem to need that extra ooomph :)

OK...enough of the religious stuff --- Farfel is fading  :(   He does have good days, and moments. I continue to read for hours about his stupid disease. I called a vet in the area about a certain pill...that MIGHT delay the progression of the disease. His snarky receptionist said he was not taking in anymore patients!  I asked if I could get the drug -- she said ... Farfel would have to be a patient -- and duh, they aren't accepting anymore patients. I wonder sometimes if they (the receptionists) actually care who is on the other end of the phone. In this case -- a totally brokenhearted woman who would give her right arm to help her friend.   In reality, nothing can be done. I accept it more each day. I don't want to, but I do.

So..eyes being the window to the soul --All dogs have beautiful, soulful (yes, SOULful) eyes.  Airedales have ...ape eyes...they have eyes like the Appaloosa horse (no other horses have these eyes)...they are human-like...the sclera (whites) is very pronounced. Farfel's  looks  at me now ... like he has never looked at me before.  I, for the most part spend all day with him... and sometimes, all night.  He will lay there and kind of do a moan/growl sort of thing... and go into a whimper.  He isn't in pain -- Farfel honestly has no tolerance for pain. If he was in pain, I, as well as the whole neighborhood would know. He is sad, afraid, confused, frustrated -- and sometimes...humiliated.  He still has the most loving eyes, but.... he has lost his mischievous look.

I am really trying to think all of this through ....with the least amount of emotion (yeah right) . What is Farfel's quality of life?  If I could sit and hold him all day -- that would be great.....but I can't. I haven't run the vacuum cleaner in a very long time (I really don't care) because it really annoys him. It use to be fun for him... he would attack it... steal the attachments...  :)   He can't do that now. It just annoys him.  Farfel is smart... he knows me. He feeds off of my emotions. He knows when I have that fake happy face, and that weird happy voice. He knows. And they say dogs have no soul. 

Kubler, Ross -- their stages of grief. Spot on. Imagine feeling the different stages all day long! I wonder how many years I will be going through them ......ugh.

I wish I could say something that is positive and uplifting ... I can't. Everything I read about the disease starts out like --- Degenerative Myelopathy is a grave disease. OK --- then... it goes into discussing wheelchairs....pee pee pads....air beds....slings.....supplements.....lots of different things.... in my opinion, to prolong the agony.  Farfel isn't happy. Well, he is happy when I am laying on the floor with him... hugging him, and holding him -- which I will do until I can't do it anymore.

On a different note --- sweet little preggo Star!  She knows that Farfel is getting extra attention.  Believe me, in no way is Star neglected  :)  She wouldn't allow it!!  She is right there for hugs and cuddles too!!   It's very difficult for me to go to bed and leave Farfel downstairs.  I have the hallway blocked off so he doesn't slip and fall -- even though all bare surfaces are covered. I go to bed.. say goodnight to both of them... then... about 3 minutes later, Star sneaks up and jumps into my bed. We have "our" time  :)  I am glad I have her :)

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer... I am really thankful I have him, and have had him in my life for 10 years  :)  I also try to remain positive.  I am very happy when he has a good day, and am equally as happy when his old, stubborn, obstinate self comes out  :)   Happy or sad, it helps to write.


Patti, Farfel, and Star   :)

He is so handsome  :)