Friday, February 19, 2010

Now MOMMY is the lumpy one ...

I know I have been a terrible blogger...and more importantly, a terrible boyfriend to my Lovely Miss Fergi (sigh). There have been many reasons, too many to name, and they would just sound like excuses...but, I need to write now...I think ...

Last year, I, Farfel the ONLY Airedale in the Village,had a lump. My MOMMY started calling me "LUMPY" Rutherford (Leave it to Beaver fame). MOMMY had my lump checked, and was told by that nice Dr. Sands that Terriers were somewhat "lumpy" and she had nothing to worry about --- I still have the lump, but I am fine :)

It's MOMMY who has the lumps now. Why would we write about "lumps?" You have to know my MOMMY to understand that -- she has a brain tumor -- she named "Hector!" That might give you a clue :) Anyway, Hector seems to be fine. The new lumps are in a different place. To put this delicately ... they are in her.... uhm.....breasts (there! I said it! -- I really didn't want to say boobs, or the "T" word (teats..hehehe) Whew!

So anyway --- Since MOMMY has been in a relationship with that damn elliptical machine at the gym, and those stupid ...dumb bells ( I try to play with them but they are too heavy..ugh!), she has lost a lot of weight......Soooooo one day she was looking in the mirror and noticed just how small THEY (breasts) have gotten. She tried to lift them up, and just do ANYTHING to make them look larger..hehehe OK... she is 56 --- GRAVITY just isn't there anymore...hehehehe BUT -- as she was doing the lift ups... she found it....the LUMP!

MOMMY was sort of freaked out. MOMMY doesn't have hospitalization benefits. MOMMY'S mother -- my "Yia Yia" died from breast cancer. MOMMY was going to name the lump Christine, after her mother, but.... decided on "MOBY" that weirdo singer. Why she has to name her lumps and tumors is beyond me :) She does make me laugh though :)

OK -- so without medical benefits -- what was she going to do???? Well, there is a group here in Ohio called the Pink Ribbon Society. MOMMY called them.. and they told MOMMY not to worry -- they would take care of everything!!! And... they are :)

MOMMY went for a mammogram. Well, they saw MOBY ... plus two more on the left side and a mass on the right side. MOMMY wasn't expecting that :( Ok, I bet you're wondering what she named the other lumps --- She didn't). Today.... MOBY was aspirated, sooo no more MOBY. They are checking out MOBY... and will take care of the other two later. They were supposed to check out the mass on the other side, but.. couldn't get a good reading, or something and they have to schedule a different kind of test where they put MOMMY under anesthetic (probably to keep MOMMY quiet, and to stop her from telling jokes!) Sooooo... MOMMY and I have been kind of worried. As you know, I have three humine brothers. MOMMY doesn't like to talk to them about "lady" things.... so, I am who she talks to.... and.. I guess I will talk to you all :) In no way are we making light of breast cancer.... it's treatment, or the feelings that go with it --- I guess we are "coping!"

So other than that --- things have been typically abnormal in our lives :) MOMMY finally got a job... working at the BMV (Bureau of Motor Vehicles) .. not to be confused with the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles). Same thing! It isn't exactly the kind of job MOMMY is suited for, but.... it IS a job and it buys me my treats :) MOMMY isn't one of those mean BMV people --- she is one of the nice ones. She says it's like being in a reality show -- full of stupid people :) One gentleman asked her --- "how long are 30 day tags good for?" So badly MOMMY wanted to answer .. well, 10 minutes -- but didn't...hehehe It's a job, and it does make her laugh :)

So, that's about it ... no results or confirmation yet...we will keep you posted long as MOMMY doesn't lose the password AGAIN!

Love to all ... especially.... Lovely Miss Fergi :)