I, Farfel, the ONLY Airedale in the Village .... loves to go in the car with MOMMY! I do lick the windows, and have a difficult time sitting in one place -- it's soooo hard to decide!! Front seat -- back seat -- front floor -- head out the back windows -- front windows -- moon roof???? I do get nose prints (quite beautiful) all over the windows, but mostly -- MOMMY loves me as a passenger!!!
MOMMY'S Gym is right next to a Pet Store -- not the kind that sells puppies or furry animals, but the kind that sells VERMIN, reptiles, and fish!! It is a pet-friendly store and while MOMMY is on her beloved Elliptical machine, she watches the dogs walk in and out of the store with their humines. MOMMY thought --- Hmmmm, maybe I could take Farfel into the store --- one day!!!!! Hahaha, well, today was the day!!!!!
First she walked me by the window of the Gym -- they do not allow canines in there --NOT that I would want to go into that smelly, noisy, disco music playing place -- MOMMY waved to the pretty employees with their really cute Adidas outfits on!! MOMMY thinks they are only there for decoration. They don't really know anything about high-intensity or low-intensity workouts. They say things like .. for sure, whatever, like, and they are usually texting... hahah very fast... so anyway ....
We go into the store. MOMMY was in the treat section!!! The treats were beautiful. They set out a buffet for me -- a smorgasbord, hors d'oeuvres!! I felt to honored!! So, while MOMMY was oooohing and ahhhhhhing over a big white poodle -- who wanted NOTHING to do with me...I decided to sample the buffet!!!! All of a sudden... MOMMY says........NO!!!!! A few other words were coming out of her mouth like... shoplifting, thievery, and STEALING!!!!! She did not see it as a buffet!!!! My question ... why would these tasty morsels be out in the open loose... with the aroma begging me to taste them???? OK, so Miss Snooty... who was sitting there watching... like a gooooooooood dog... didn't try any -- but... why would they honor her??????? I am Farfel -- the ONLY Airedale in the Village -- she is not!!!
To make matters worse -- MOMMY decided to check out this grey creature in a big cage!! She was pulling me further away from the FOOD!!!! I wondered what this feathered guy had done to be incarcerated like he was ---- THEN .. as soon as MOMMY walked up to him he whistled at her --- Damn him!!! That's MY MOMMY!!! I started snorting... he then said.. hello, hello, in a totally stupid voice!! I had to growl at that point... MOMMY kept trying to calm me down... then the feathered thing started flapping his wings... I think I may have intimidated him!!! THEN -- with that totally stupid little voice he had, he said... (are you ready for this?) BAD DOG!!!! Like 5 times!!!!!!! DAMN HIM! MOMMY was laughing... and so was everybody else in the place -- DAMN THEM too!!! He mocked me. Grrrrr!
We couldn't leave soon enough!! I was happy to get out of that torturous place -- even IF the food was good!!!! MOMMY was still laughing in the car... making her voice sound like that dumb Parrot!! She was also calling me a shoplifter, and told me how lucky I was that I wasn't sent to prison.......I was happy to see MOMMY laugh --- but at the same time.... annoyed -- BUT, not for long!!! MOMMY bought me a few pigs ears... I was happy!!!!!
I will have to plot my course the next time I go in there ---- I will avoid the ...."JAILBIRD!" Hahahaha .. and make sure I do not snatch a treat ---- unless... nobody is looking :)
What would you do if you were in a pet store and an annoying Grey Parrot escaped from it's jail cell?
What would Farfel do ?
(Just kidding -- sort of!)
There are more blogs to come -- it just take MOMMY forever in her lameness to type them...ugh!