Tuesday, June 4, 2013

One year, 12 months, 365 days .......

It's been one year since you, Farfel, The ONLY Airedale in the Village, have been gone. I miss you every day -- every minute of every day.

June 4, 2012 was the worst day of my life.  I, as well as my family, always new that when we would part ways, it would be heart breaking. It has been, more than you or anybody knows. Even having two beautiful sweet Airedale girls hasn't eased the pain. I love them dearly -- they are not you.

I do remember all of the good things and I smile, and am happy...but then realize, never again. Such a big lovable clown you were....how I would look so forward to coming home to you.  How you would come to me and put your head on my lap -- knowing we both needed it. How you would go up to bed on your own. How you had selective hearing. How you posed for pictures ....... but mostly, how you loved me.

Thank you Best Friend Forever Farfel for being in my life. Having you in my life makes all of this sadness worth it.

If I had one wish ---  I would wish to have one more hour with you. At the end of that hour -- I would never let you go.

I love you Farfel.


Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Happy Birthday Dear Farfel.......Happy Birthday to you .......

Farfel, The ONLY Airedale in the Village was born in Sugarcreek, Ohio (at what I found out later to be an Amish puppy mill), on January 16, 2002 -- he would have been 11.  I chose, reluctantly, to have him put to sleep on June 4, 2012. He had Degenerative Myelopathy. Even though I admire those who get wheels for their ailing dogs, expensive treatment, live through urinary tract infections, bed sores ..... etc... I chose to let my best friend go. I could never keep a sad, frightened best friend around for my own needs.  He gave me so much in his short life ... it was the only thing I could do for him -- and....it has broken my heart beyond belief.

So Farfel, I hope you are making a lot of friends at the Rainbow Bridge. I know you were more of a "people person" than a "dog person."  My fault. I never really socialized you I guess -- or as many have told me -- I humanized you too much.  Either way --- you were, and are perfect to me.  I do hope you are socializing with the others ....they would all love you  :)

I still have the "Trifecta" of diseases (Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Chronic Fatigue, and Fibromyalgia!! No relief, none, nada ...you would think that with the gazillion old ladies out there who have these diseases,  SOMEONE would find a cure ... or a pill that actually works... not in my case anyway.  One of my Docs suggested I see a therapist -- hehehehe  :)  I told her how I had no faith in Doctors. Of course she wouldn't agree with me. I told her I was having a lot of trouble getting over the loss of my best friend. I mentioned that I didn't grieve the same way for my parents -- that I didn't think about my parents like I thought about my best friend ..... that my parents --- or anybody couldn't give me the same comfort as my best friend.  I went on and on, and was getting very emotional.  I finally had to tell her that you were a dog -- yes, I know... you weren't a dog, you were "FARFEL!"   Her response to me --- Oh, I had a cat that died.  So badly I wanted to say ---- Listen B*tch, this is MY 50 freakin' minutes, and I don't give a rat's ass about YOUR cat!!!  Instead I said -- and how does that make you feel ??????  And..... if this pencil was a magic wand ... what would you want it to do ???  I didn't say that either ... I should have.... I just didn't go to the Birkenstocks with socks shrink anymore ....   :)

I took the girls to the vets for "girl" surgery.  I love all of the staff there, but I HATE going in there. It was the very last place you were  :(  I remember telling the vets each and every time I took you -- that you had to live forever, or at least longer than me.  I hate that you are now ashes in a cute little box.  I have your collar, tags, a lock of your hair wrapped in your favorite (Colombian flag) bandana. I used to have your favorite toy in there also .... your knife. Hoshi ...well, destroyed most of it. Prior to the destruction .... she pranced around squeaking it, trying to stab Star. It was bittersweet. I kept the destroyed knife.

I have so much I want to say to you. I will say what I say every time I walk by your cute little box, and when I go to bed:

I love you Farfel...........

Happy Birthday sweet boy   :)