Sunday, March 13, 2011

Bitey Face ?? I THINK not!!!!!

Look at this face !!   

 I Farfel, the ONLY Airedale in the .....INSULTED!!!!   I have been MAIMED for life!!!!  All due to one small, female with a LONG (and I do mean LONG) tail, and NO BARK!!!!  She blatantly attacked me!!!!  She bit a HOLE, yes a HOLE in my ear!!!!  It was AWFUL!!! She wouldn't let go!!!  I don't think I ever heard MOMMY yell so loud -- it isn't her nature ...I usually do the loud yelling!!!

OK, back to me -- I am HURT, INJURED, and BLEEEEEEEEEEDING!! I've got that Terrier "shake" thing going on .... I need......a treat.... or meat.....or a cookie....or ANYTHING!!!  I am HURT!!!!!


It's quite gruesome --- isn't it ? I am suffering.... and she..................Star....well,.....she's pretty darn tough... for a ... GIRL!!!   Star was sitting next to MY MOMMY and my girl grandheathen... I went up to them for some HUGGS (that's all... just HUGGS), and Star started hissing at me...because... she can't growl!!!  Well, MOMMY and the girl grandheathen started laughing... and then, all of a sudden.... Star had to become possessive of MY girls!!!!!  The rest is a blur....MOMMY yelled as loud as she could to stop -- and put her boot in between our faces --- it's OK, she had on those UGGly boots!!  It would talk an alligator to get through one of those!!  Anyway, we stopped, I was screaming -- and Star.. was unusually calm .....hmmmmm!!!

MOMMY checked me out and saw the enormous injury to my ear --- MY beautiful EAR!!! I am scarred for life!!!!  I don't believe scars give people character --- I am already a character, and I don't need a painful injury to prove just how brave I am!!! OH -- THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOMMY cleaned my gaping wound...and put some ointment on the deeeeeeeep puncture wound...the blood was spurting out EVERYWHERE!!!  I think she hit an ARTERY!!!!  Star kept sneaking around trying to get a look at the medical procedure I was going through -- Thank GOD MOMMY knows emergency medicine!!!  Who knows what could happen in that "Golden Hour!!" I had major TRAUMA!!!!  MOMMY doesn't normally have Morphine on hand here at home ... but, if she did -- I think I need a nice Morphine drip of some kind ... or at the VERY least .... a cookie!!!

So....after my treatment.... Star and I talked -- OK, I talked and she listened ... we did that "Airedale" dance!! That's what we call it -- you know when two dogs get close to each other -- -with wagging tails (hers is so ostentatious) ... and we making jerking moves like we are dancing .....??? Kind of like Elaine from Seinfeld .....MOMMY has no idea what we are doing, but....she says it appears to be "friendly!"

Well, I need to rest --- I am not only physically drained, I am emotionally drained................


WANTED (for crimes against Farfelmanity!)

Just look at that face --- she reminds me of a Roller Derby girl ... or a Lady wrestler.... Or one of those tough girls......actually --- her gruff, raspy bark SUITS HER!!!!!

I will be pouting, and avoiding her for the rest of the day .... and soaking up the attention from my MOMMY!!!

LOVE to you ALL .... I'm glad she didn't KILL me!!!

Farfel, the ONLY Airedale in the VILLAGE, who is slightly maimed, but...... still has those boyish good looks!!!!!

Farfel "DID NOT!!!!"
Star* "YES YOU DID -- Drama King!"
Farfel "HOW DARE YOU?!!"
Star* "Wanna go another round??"
Farfel "no"

Thursday, March 10, 2011

They didn't know I could type :)

It's me, Star -- the ONLY Princess in the Village!!!  While my BIG (and I do mean BIG) brother Farfel is sleeping, I decided I would write and introduce myself to everybody!!!  MOMMY and Farfel talk about the wonderful humines and canines they have met -- as a result of the INTERNET -- too bad MOMMY hasn't had such luck --- on those truly creepy Internet Dating sites!!  As a result, she will never go on them again (thank goodness) .. and I have heard her mention --- many times -- Dogs are better than those nasty old men!!!

Anyway, my name is Seneca Texas Sternchen. Sternchen is "Starshine" in German. I have been called Star, since I can remember.  I do have a sister in Mexico, her name is Meiga, she is also a champion, and is owned by a very handsome man named:  Jose Antonio Gomez -- an Airedale lover :)  My sister's daughter is also a very beautiful Airedale and has many awards  :)  Check out MOMMY'S Facebook page and look at the beautiful pictures of my niece and sister.

I had one litter once -- and only produced one baby. My other mommy, Nancy... called her "Godzilla!" She was a very large puppy, because she ate so much  (because she had nobody to compete with). Godzilla, is now a service dog. She is probably the size of my BIG (and I do mean BIG) brother Farfel.  Soon I will find out if I will be having another litter. MOMMY isn't happy about me leaving her again -- but, I will be back -- I missed my BIG (and I do mean BIG) brother Farfel, and Joey ( I love Joey)... and my MOMMY, when I was gone before -- even though Farfel, my BIG (and I do mean BIG) brother makes remarks....I am not sure if he is being protective, jealous, or just an ass :) Sorry Farfel..I know you aren't as "worldy" as I am...but puppies are a way of life --- MOMMY should have the "talk" with you  :)  

OK -- Farfel my BIG (and I do mean BIG) brother has made certain comments about my tail -- really, they don't bother tail is lovely  :) is so fun to wag my tail in his face and annoy him :)  As far as my raspy voice, I think it is sexy!!!  Kind of like Demi Moore  :)  Farfel my BIG (and I do mean BIG) ..barks enough for an entire Airedale Tabernacle Choir!!  He is LOUD ... when MOMMY shusshes (which he hates) him, he barks LOUDER!!!  Then.......MOMMY gives him a treat so he will be quiet -- MOMMY --- you are rewarding him for bad behavior!!! Hee hee hee ... no wonder he is such a BIG (and I do mean BIG) guy!!

Farfel my BIG (and I do mean BIG) brother will NOT share the toys!!!!  So -- I will NOT share the couch, unless MOMMY forces us :)  Also.....MOMMY only lets me on her bed when Farfel (the BIG guy) not looking -- or he decides he will get on the bed too -- which isn't often, he is kind of ....well...not as "springy" as I am --- the middle of the night.... I sneak around the other side of MOMMY'S bed, and jump in and snuggle with my MOMMY!!!  Farfel is on the floor (where we start out)...he isn't suffering though, MOMMY has blankets and pillows and anything else he would want  :) He isn't deprived :)  MOMMY will tell me to get back on the floor, but since she had her operation, she just kind of gives in....which is OK by me  :)

I do LOVE my BIG (and I do mean BIG) brother Farfel :)  He is so awesome!!!  I love to tease him...and we do really love each other  :) :)  MOMMY loves us both, and yes, I know FARFEL, my BIG (and I do mean HUGE) brother is very special to her -- but, so am I  :)

I have lived in several homes -- not sure of the exact details, but it has to do with handlers...I know it may sound like I have had a privileged life -- but, I just hope that after the babies are born (if there are any) ..that I will be here forever with my MOMMY, my BIG (and I do mean really BIG) brother Farfel ... and Joey -- I love my other brothers too..and I especially love those little grandheathens....they are my size and very very sweet to me  :)

Well, I better go for now... it seems like  Farfel, my BIG (GARGANTUAN) brother is waking up and deciding which couch he wants to take his next nap on.....:) I do LOVE Him -- what's not to love ????? :)

Nice to meet you all  :)


Star  :)  

P.S. I have only hissed at Farfel, my BIG (BIG like Raymond Burr) brother only once since I have been back home --- I hiss instead of growl, it is very dainty ....:)

Monday, March 7, 2011

Things are back to abnormal -- Star is home !!!

This is Farfel's MOMMY. I did not ask for his permission to write this blog -- besides, he is just settling in for his first nap of the day, and I don't want to disturb him  :)  I think he thought Star was gone for good --  welll, big surprise Farfel -- she's back  :)  As soon as I got the call that she was back at Nancy's -- Joey and I picked her up -- immediately!!  Joey almost missed the season premier of Orange County Housewives -- BUT -- geeez, he was watching hours and hours of it ALL DAY!!!  UGH -- seriously, I really wish I knew whose reality those women are living (OK, yeah, I am jealous!!) Personally, I prefer the Housewives of New Jersey or New York :)

Star was very happy to see us -- jumping on me -- drains and all (I have the drains, she does not). Nancy, the breeder also showed Joey and I 3 little Airedale babies that were just hours old --- all I can say is ---awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww  :)  Anyway, Star came home and she was HAPPY to see her big brother Farfel :)  Things went very well, and I am..... very happy I have my two babies home and together!!

So, why am I writing -- well, out of laziness I do not want to sign up for another blog -- and I refuse to document "My Journey!"  I read a lot. I do have a medical background, and I wanted to and want to know everything I have gone through and will go through by the time all of this is over.

 I have ready many blogs about women who have gone through the bilateral mastectomies, whether it be as a result of cancer, or a choice they made because of the high possibility of them getting cancer in the future. As I mentioned, I was very high risk -- so having this done was my choice - not a choice that I made lightly. It was well thought out. 

As I said I refuse to make this come across as a depressing entry into a journal describing my journey. For me, that is not an option. I am not a super-woman in any sense of the word. I am just me. You can't do this with the thoughts of "why me?" I had a choice, and I made the choice.

Finding a lump, going to the Doctor, going for tests, more tests, then finally results was too much. I couldn't imagine going through that more than once. While some of the tests are very easy -- mammograms for one -- the technicians are wonderful, and in my case, at least, the squeezing of the boobie wasn't terrible. So, ladies, get your mammograms :)  There was one procedure that was not fun for me -- it was the Needle Loc -- they had to stick this thing inside my breast they knew where to cut to get the lump out -- well, that hurt like hell and the thought of it was damn creepy!  UGH!  

I also opted to have a total hysterectomy. When I went to the Doc to discuss this, they found "weird" cells on my cervix -- so -- it was a good thing I had it done anyway -- Ovarian cancer is a difficult cancer to detect, and from what I am told, ovarian cancer and breast cancer are very close. So...ladies, make sure you keep up on the lower regions as well -- it would be a shame to find something too late, when it could have been found, and treated. I realize I am 57 years old and really have no need for most of my parts -- but it hasn't made me feel like any less of a woman -- if that helps at all.

My chest at the moment is not attractive. It is bigger though than what I went into surgery with, and these are only the expanders. The old boobies weren't that magnificent..hehehehe.. they reminded me of little wrinkly flesh-colored fried eggs....yet, they were my cute, little wrinkly flesh-colored fried eggs -- with adorable nipples I might add  :) Right now it appears that I have the "bulk" of the boobies under my armpits -- UGH!  I specifically told the plastic surgeon ..I did not want "bra hangover fat!"  As a matter of fact -- my son Joey told me a trick about bra-fat -- bend over and stuff the boobies into the bra -- and voila ... they stay, and very minimal bra fat!  Joey? You say? --- Joey has done drag for many years -- very well I might add -- and I get all of my "girly" secrets from him!!!!  Thank you Joey!!! the moment -- I have lumpy things on my chest -- with slight scarring, drains hanging out (they should be removed soon)...and most of the lumps are under my armpits -- but that will change...and as was mentioned in a previous blog -- it looks like there are two bald men on my chest with lumpy heads!  It really isn't so bad. Yes, there is pain, but is easy to manage!  I just can't reach things from very high places -- never could actually -- but my range of motion is pretty good -- because...I's because I work-out. I am worried that with this recovery period that I may turn back to ...flab. Oh well, I can get the muscles back -- besides, the muscles I have are covered up by wrinkled old lady skin (there is no cure for that ---except youth!UGH).

One of my biggest worries is -- the weight I gained by quitting smoking. I am totally freaked out by that. I know it is petty, but.... I went from a size 1/2 to a size 3...which is kind of tight, and weirdly -- I grew an ass!  I never had one before. It isn't so bad. But -- it's THERE!  I know a large ass certainly out-weighs (hahahahaha) the dangers of smoking, but.... it is so difficult out there for a single old lady!!!  And... I am smoking again -- see, I am honest!  Not a lot. I just can't stop, and I know I have to, because it isn't good for the healing process, but... I am going to be totally honest in this non-depressing, non-journal entry to my non-depressing-journey!  I will stop!

Another worry is -- since me the loser without a boyfriend/manfriend -- Oh, I have friends, but I am sure they are afraid of the C-WORD (commitment).  Am I worried about not being sexy -- because of my weird boobs?  No -- but it would be nice to have someone love me regardless -- seriously -- old men out there are so shallow. The youngs ones (usually most I date are 10 years or younger than me) aren't so bad. Anyway -- I don't think boob size defines "sexy!"  I think my warped sense of humor, personality, and... yes, kindness are sexy as hell. Besides, I have those Greek good looks ...hahahahahaha...big Greek thighs ..and now huge Greek ass .... but no Greek mustache ... as of yet. The Greek women in my family usually grow one in their late 70's, so, I still have time  :)  By implants will have drooped, my ass will be huger, and I will probably suffer from dementia -- so who freakin' cares if I have a mustache or not ???   :)

I do have wonderful family and friends who have been there for me  --- Joey -- my youngest son who has to put up with me stealing cigs from him ... he planned the whole party for the TA TA to the TA TA'S ... he helped me clean...and just about do everything I asked of him as well as keep me laughing  :)  Ryan, my oldest, who stayed at the hospital ALL DAY -- stayed with me for a few days -- waiting on me (God, I know how hard that was!), Mark, the middle child -- who is so busy with work, kids, baby mama's...for just being there and making me smile (we are warped in the same way) ex-husband ...YES, we are friends, who will do anything to make my life run smoother (Ya should ya a-hole -- I never asked for alimony!!! -- joking -- (but I didn't ask for alimony). All those who came to the party, who have called me, and have just been there ... JM ... thank you -- for you know what .... and Eddie -- my dear, dear friend, who is making my dreams come true-- a staunch METS fan taking me to the Yankee homecoming festivities -- and other great stuff!!  Having friends and family is waaaay better than having perfect boobies!!  Last but not least -- my BEST friend in the world -- Farfel  :)  There is nothing I can say that people with dogs don't already know :) And little sweet needy barkless Star -- who needs me  :)  I am a very lucky person!!!  And ... soon I will have FOOBS (fake boobs) and FIPPLES (fake nipples)  Life is good!!



I do have to say -- this is what is right for me -- in no way do I diminish what other women have gone through or what they will go through -- but -- it's easier to go through something like this with a sense of humor and smiles  :)  Believe me ... I am not the "Perky Patti" type .... just a regular person who sees things a little differently :)

***Well said MOMMY -- now will you please let Foghorn Star and I out --- we have to pee!!!***

Love, Farfel ...and Star   too  :)

Sunday, March 6, 2011

She's coming home .....hmmmmmm

I, Farfel, the ONLY Airedale in the Village --will soon have to share my Village AGAIN!  My little petite sister STAR, with the long, long tail (weird), the freakishly odd bark (hehehe), and the springs on her dainty feet!!!!

MOMMY is very happy, and says CONSTANTLY (ugh), I never thought I could love or miss another dog so much!!!  Well, I guess it's OK ... MOMMY still loves me the most (duh). Speaking of MOMMY, she is doing very well except for a little pain. She says her chest reminds her of two bald men with lumpy heads -- No wonder MOMMY gets along with Star so well -- they are both strange :) A good strange though  :)

Star has been bred twice --- meaning --- she has had SEX!!!!!   Twice!!!!  OK, enough about that -- her tentative due date -- if it "took," is April 29th. Star will then be leaving us again to have her babies, and then will be coming back to us after the babies do not need her anymore --- I can't picture Star as a MOMMY -- whispering sweet nothings to her babies .. since she sounds like a little foghorn!  MOMMY is still verrrrry upset about that!!  I tell her not to worry because I bark enough for 10 Terriers --- and I do not stop unless bribed  :) :)

MOMMY is verrrry excited about her upcoming NY trip!!!  Not only is she going to see her beloved Yankees...and the Season opener -- her friend Eddie is going to take her to see Ghetto Klown at the Lyceum with John Leguizomo ----AND he promised to drive her under the Helmsley Hotel in the city -- it's a tunnel sort of thing -- MOMMY is odd -- she likes unique things  :)  MOMMY might have a burger at Jackson Hole in Astoria..YUM YUM YUM -- MOMMY hasn't been eating red meat lately -- not cuz she loves animals --- cuz she hates plants ...HAHAHAHAHAHA  Joking!!  She just doesn't eat it anymore...but, she might make an exception  :)  MOMMY really needs to win the lottery BIG -- so she can be wealthy and live in NY -- in the Village, or Tribeca (not asking too much!!). MOMMY would probably spend her days walking Star and I and ... as she says.... looking at "stuff!" Probably buying "stuff" too!!!

This was only supposed to be a short little bloggy -- but, I talk too much  :)  There will be more when the little preggo girl comes home (I still cannot believe she had... S-E-X) ...I will support her...I guess....and maybe let HER have the couch ...(probably not).

Thanks to all for being our friends....We love you all, and we do read your  blogs -- and smile a lot!!  Dog people are special people  :)

Well, I am going to enjoy my last few hours as an "ONLY" dog  :)  (Actually, I kind of miss the little foghorn too).


Farfel (and MOMMY)

Smoooches to you my Lovely Miss Fergi  :)

Thursday, March 3, 2011

My two favorite girls -- No boobies, and No Barks!

I, Farfel, the ONLY Airedale in the Village, have decided to allow my MOMMY to take over the blog today!  Of course she will not be as witty, funny, charming, or literary adept as I -- but, she tries, and she did just have major surgery --- so without further ado --- Herrreeees MOMMY :

He can be such an ass  :)  Anyway, I am home. The surgery went very well, and mentally and physically I am doing very well!!!  There is more to come with the reconstruction....but that shouldn't be so bad  :)

My little baby girl Star has been in Kentucky. She is there to ..... get pregnant. I miss her.... and as far as Farfel goes -- well..... I have never seen him happier....hehehehe.  I don't think he dislikes her, he just doesn't like her around  .... but...Star needs us  :) She is coming back -- and we are keeping her. The litter, if she gets pregnant will belong to the breeder. That was one of the conditions of having Star. I also found out that Star was debarked. That disturbs me very much. Terriers bark. Terriers bark a lot. Don't have a Terrier if barking annoys you -- that's my opinion. Maybe they do this to show dogs -- well... another DUH -- dogs bark ... are they better behaved if they don't bark? It is sad and pitiful, and I don't like it  :(

So, I had my TA TA to the TATA'S party -- it was fun and weird at the same time  :)  I mentioned it to the people at the hospital -- most looked at me kind of funny -- kind of like... "oh poor thing" .. or " I think she is crazy!" ... When asked who my next of kin was ... my son Joey (Farfel's nemesis) said.... Farfel. Some of those medical types just don't have much of a sense of humor :)

The surgery wasn't so bad -- it was and is very painful, but nothing a person can't live with, and it gets better every hour. I am kind of lumpy and the shape is kind of funky -- but actually, I think I have more now than what I went in with, and these are just the expanders. The plastic surgeon seems to think I am going to want "big ones!"  We'll see  :)  Again -- I chose to do this. I did not have cancer. My chances of getting breast cancer are like 1%  to 2 %  now.....and.. once the boobies are done... I will have perky boobs until I am 90... so, that isn't so bad  :)

Looking forward to going to NY -- for the Yankees homecoming dinner!!  I am so excited!!  Jeter -- Jeter --- Jeter  :)   (Thanks Eddie for this opportunity -- even though you are a METS fan!!!)  Eddie came to my TATA party all the way from NY -- it was great having him here!!  I can't wait !!!!

 Soooo that's about it --- I thank Farfel for this opportunity to write....hehehehe. I love all of the "dog people!"  You have no idea  :)  Thanks for all of my new FB friends  :)  I love your comments and photos!! Thanks Sally, Jake, Fergi and Nina ... for being you  :)

Take care to all  :)

Patti...Farfel, and Star  :)