Yes MOMMY, there is .....

Dear Farfel,

It's been 6 months since you've been gone.  I miss you more and more each day.  There is some comfort though -- there is a special group on Facebook called the Rainbow Bridge. Ozzie, and Bogey, two special, and pretty important guys write updates from the Bridge. Some of my friends do not believe this..some think I am nuts....and some think it's time I get over your loss ---- BUT, isn't it true that if you see it on Facebook, it is so? Please tell me the truth, is there a Rainbow Bridge?

Love,

MOMMY


MOMMY,
 Your  friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, MOMMY, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

MOMMY, I could continue with Francis P. Church's editorial -- but, I think my words will say it best. 

Anything that gives you, or anybody else comfort from the updates from the Bridge is a special gift . The gift of faith, love, and hope in your hearts. The love you had for us  -- your best friends. Not wanting to forget or lose the feeling of that love. Knowing we are fine, happy, and healthy. Reading about the newcomers to the Bridge, and momentarily feeling the same sadness as when I left you -- but then hearing about the special festivities...and being able to believe, hope and feel that we are all happy and well taken care of -- and watching over our loved ones left behind. 

The Rainbow Bridge is a magical place that exists in our hearts, hopes, and dreams. Don't ever lose the magic. Remember the day when you knew there was no Santa Claus (there is, and he makes regular stops here at the Bridge), and when you had your own children you wanted them to believe forever, because that moment of of non-believing was so harsh? So, MOMMY, yes there is a Rainbow Bridge, and it exists in the hearts of all that have lost their best furry friends. 

As Ozzie and Bogey mentioned, we have a special day tomorrow welcoming the 20 little Angels, and sending love to their Mommies, and Daddies.  

I miss you MOMMY. I have to laugh sometimes at what's going on down there with that pup Hoshi.  She is very good at sleeping on her back ... and gutting her toys -- eyes first --- is she not ??   I am teaching her well.  I am happy that Star is putting her head on your knee like I did. I know you miss it -- but remember, I am there with you all of the time. I am fine, and happy.... please don't worry. 

I love, and miss you all ..

Farfel

Merry Christmas 

I look so handsome in this picture -- and Star, well she just loves looking at herself  :)

Since you've been gone ....... Oh boy!!!!

Well, Farfel, it's been two months today.  I miss you so much, and I think of you every hour of every day -- such good thoughts :) I know you know what's been happening down here, from up there on your comfy cloud, and probably laughing your ass off   :)   For those who don't know -- here is what has happened in my life the last two months.

Here is a bit of backstory:  I received Star, my sweet girl Airedale in November of 2010. I received Star on the condition that in 2011, she have one litter -- which she did. This was all written in a signed contract. The contract stated -- litter in 2011 and/or spayed.  I full filled my obligation. Star had a beautiful litter of 6 pups. On the advice of my vet, we decided to wait on having her spayed immediately after the litter. During the time after Star had her litter, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyroidits, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Fibromyaligia. I have not had an easy time with these idiotic diseases, and had to quit my job, and alter my life drastically. In addition to to these diseases, I had just gone through several surgeries over an 18 month period. For those who have not read my previous blogs, I had a hysterectomy, Bilateral Mastectomy, fills, exchange surgery --- and the list goes on. So .. needless to say, I have been through the ringer.  Star being spayed was not on my to do list, as a result. There was never any chance Star would get pregnant under my care. I had no desire to backyard breed her and make a profit. Farfel Started faltering in  February of 2012. My focus was on him. Star was and is a happy, healthy girl. If she had any issues, I would have had them taken care of immediately.

I was taking Farfel to the vet to find out what was wrong with him. At that time, I was going to Doctors on a weekly basis. In April, the groomer/breeder (who gave me Star) called to remind me of their grooming appointment. I told her Farfel wasn't doing well, Star was in heat, and that I had spent a lot of money on Farfel's medical bills. She told me she would do Star for free. So, I took Star to be groomed. The groomer asked if she could keep Star overnight -- that she was "bad." I thought by bad she meant her grooming would take awhile. I said OK.  The next day I called and asked when I could pick Star up. The groomer asked me if she could keep her a few more days. I said - why?  is she that bad???  She said no, she wanted to breed her. I said, you have a male there to breed her with ? She said no, I took her to Kentucky yesterday. I was stunned. There was nothing I could do. I was assured Star would be back in a few days. I suppose I could have insisted that Star be brought back immediately. I didn't. Maybe I was in a weakened state, or in shock. The breeder, in the past mentioned how nice it would be for Star to have another litter. There was no set plan, and I did not agree to it.  My opinion -- if she (breeder) was doing this on the up and up, she should have called and asked me, or discussed it with me. She didn't. It takes about 6 hours to drive from here to KY. That was 6 hours she could have called and told me what she was doing.

Star came back. I went to pick her up. I did write the breeder an E-mail stating my feelings on what she did. I felt it was underhanded.  She never mentioned the E-mail to me. I have to say... I like the breeder/groomer. She is pleasant, knows tons about Airedales, and dogs. She is a wonderful groomer, and an excellent breeder. Her facilities are immaculate. The kennel is beautiful.  I took Star home, and told the breeder that I would be back around Star's due date. The breeder calculated it. I know nothing about that stuff. I called the breeder several times because Star was doing weird things -- we just figured that Star is weird -- but a good weird  :)

During this time, Farfel was getting worse and worse. I was feeling terrible as well.  I lost Farfel on June 4th. About two weeks later, I took Star back to the breeder. It was a tough time for me. When I was dropping her off I mentioned how special it would be to have one of Star's pups. The breeder said nothing -- just looked at me. In my opinion, and... this is just my opinion, had she taken me seriously, she would have said -- that is wonderful, I require a deposit...blah, blah blah -- I am pretty sure these pups were booked before they were born, and I would never have gotten a puppy.

So, I called daily, or every other day to see how Star was doing. I just lost Farfel. I was concerned about Star. I got the impression I was bothering the breeder. Well, one day I called and I was told to come get Star -- she was having a false pregnancy. I was surprised, asked are you sure ?? She said yes. Ok, then... I left to pick Star up immediately.

The breeder brought Star out to me -- I asked about false pregnancies, the breeder explained what she knew and said it was common -- but she also insinuated that because Star was overweight that was a problem -- whatEVER  :)   I asked the breeder SEVERAL times -- are you sure ?????  She said yes -- there is NOTHING in her!  (I assumed she had Star x-rayed -- she didn't). I said.. so she is not going to surprise me ??? The breeder assured me there were no puppies!!!!!

I get Star home.  She was acting strange (even for Star).  I made an appointment for her the next day -- they x-rayed her ....and LO and behold -- she had two puppies inside her. 12 hours later, I was delivering the cutest little mole-like Airedale puppies.  My son and I did it --- Well, actually Star did most of it. So, there I was.... my son, Star, 2 puppies, and a big plastic swimming pool in my living room.  I have never done anything like this before, and I have never witnessed it. Star came through fine.  It upsets me to think of what could have happened.  I may not have an animal husbandry degree, but I know when my dog is acting weird!

So, I took them to the vet a few days later -- all were happy and healthy. Tails were cropped, dew claws removed, and the vet hydrated Star.  I have to say -- my vet was furious with the breeder for not having Star x-rayed. I was struggling with telling her about the 2 pups -- after all -- pups - $$$$$$   On the advice of the vet, my family, friends, and everyone I told the whole story said... to keep the pups. The breeder basically gave up any claim when she said there was NOTHING in there !!!  She also breached the contract and had no right taking Star to be bred.

So -- since July 1, I have been taking care of the babies. I was going to keep both, and Star. Due to my health issues it was best to give one up. A very wonderful couple now has puppy # 1, or pink  :)  They are experienced Airedale people, and it was love at first sight for both. As hard as it was to face another loss -- I am very happy for the couple and the pup  :)

So, I now have Star, and her beautiful daughter Hoshi (Star in Japanese).  I have never seen Star more happy and animated. You might be wondering how I made my choice between the two little sweeties -- well,  the one I kept reminded me of Farfel. They are both beautiful, sweet, and smart puppies.

Since I picked up Star from the breeder back in June, I have not heard from her. No inquiry about how Star was doing, and no reminder for Star to be groomed -- Star hadn't been groomed since April. Obviously, she does not care about Star -- and does not want my business.  Star has been groomed and looks beautiful.

I am sure by reading previous blogs, you can deduce who the breeder/groomer is. It is not my intention to bash her.  She is very intelligent and is one of the best breeder/groomers around.  It is obvious she had no respect for me -- otherwise we would have discussed Star being bred.  Right now, on a personal level, I have no trust in her.

Well, Farfel, you haven't been replaced -- although this little spitfire is a toughy!!  She walks around growling like you (vocalizing), she sleeps in weird positions, she watches TV, she guts her stuffies, and removes the eyes .... I hope in some way..... a part of you is in her  :)

Sorry for the length this --- it had to be said. I couldn't be happier with how things turned out. I saw it as .... Divine Intervention, or a gift from God....doG   -- or maybe even Farfel  :)

Hoshi

Thanks for reading  :)

Patti, Star, and Hoshi  :)

Wall smudges :)

So, as I was walking down my hallway today, I noticed the smudge marks about two and a half feet up the wall, that went down the length of the hall -- Farfel's smudges  :)  It reminded me of how he would drink about 3 quarts of water, then go and wipe his face on the cushions of the couch -- lifting them up :) Which then reminded me how he had to wipe his beard on the entire perimeter of my bed -- especially the white down comforter  :) And of course how he would wipe his soaking wet face in the crotches of company -- men, of course  :)

It's been a month and a day. I can't believe the time has gone by this fast. I miss him. There have been sad reminders -- like picking up his ashes and paw print from the vets -- I almost couldn't breathe when I walked up to the desk.  Getting rid of his toys.  I kept some. The others, well, they were gutted, shredded, and most of the facial features on his stuffed animals were gone.  I kept his rubber knife  :)  He would carry it around like he was going to stab someone  :)  Going to the vets again, with Star, and while I was sitting there a couple came in with their fuzzy dog wrapped in a blanket...they were crying, and were directed back to "THE ROOM."  I could barely contain myself, it was very sad.  So, yes, there have been sad moments, but...I have been thinking about all of the funny things he would do.... the good memories, good times... etc  :)   It's still amazingly sad for me ... but the happy memories help, and..... it gets better  :)

Of course there is Star  :)  Quiet, polite, little Star!  At the vets, she sat very still and quiet. Of course she loved all of the attention :)   She didn't act horrified (like Farfel)  when her temp was taken -- she probably was -- but she behaved like a little lady  :)  When I get her leash off of the hook to go outside, she runs and sits very still in front of me so I can put on her collar and leash -- Farfel would run to me, fight me every second to get his collar on -- then run around the house holding the leash in his mouth  :)  Yep, the ONLY Airedale in the Village  :)  I hope the next Airedale I get has a little bit of Farfel and Star -- what an amazing dog that would be  :)  

So, Farfel, I hope you are having the best time, meeting new friends, and welcoming the newcomers  :)  I will be here...thinking of you (very often...), and trying to teach Star your bad ... no, not bad....your wonderfully endearing habits  :)  I do kind of like the way she sits to have her collar put on though   :)   

And... to all who have lost their best buddies this week .. I am so sorry. To those who have received good news, and good results -- I am so very happy for you  :)

Patti, and Star 

Do they have Jenny Craig --- for Dogs ? :)

We sure love our dogs  :)  Facebook has been really sad in the dog community lately.  There have been trips to the Rainbow Bridge, some expected, some not. There have been sudden illnesses, some with a good outlook, some not.  I feel for everyone of you, and I appreciate so much more the wonderful comments I received from all the dog people  :)  Especially the ones who have lost their furry loved ones. Very sad reminders.  You are all great and wonderful people. It's a privilege to be included in your lives, even though it's only by a Facebook posting  :)

I still miss my B.F.F.F, My Best Friend Forever Farfel -- terribly. Now, instead of torturing myself with wanting him back -- which sadly, can never happen. I try to fill my head with all of the crazy, funny things he used to do -- and all of the great memories. It does help :)

Now, for my N.B.F.F.S. -- my New Best Friend Forever Star  :)  As you know, I was calling Nancy, breeder/groomer/Star's former mommy,  every day last week to see if Star had her babies!  Well, on Thursday when I called, Nancy said -- come pick her up, she is having a false pregnancy, and there won't be any babies. Well, I got there as soon as I could, and Sweet Star came running out to me -- such a good feeling  :)  I can honestly say, Star, as I, was smiling  :)  Nancy told me she was over her due date and would not be having puppies. I was sad, and happy at the same time. No puppy to succeed Farfel -- or give the anticipation I was so looking forward too ... but... Star was coming home. I was glad.  I asked Nancy -- is there any possibility that .. Oh hey... guess what.. Star has her puppies at my house ?? As I have said -- I don't know Nothin' 'bout birthin' no puppies!  Nancy assured me that "There's nothing in her!" OK, Nancy is the expert with over 30 years experience :)  Star and I zooomed home  :)

I have heard of false pregnancies, but didn't know much about them. A dog exhibits all of the signs and symptoms that a dog with a true pregnancy experiences. Of course, Star HAS to be different  :)  Nancy said it isn't rare, but said it was probably due to Star not being in good shape to be bred. Ok, Star gained a few pounds!! In my defense, had I known that Star was going to be bred, which I did not,  I might have sent her to Jenny Craig, or at the very least forced her to watch "Sweatin' to the Oldies" with Richard Simmons!!  Seriously, why can't dogs who have false pregnancies gain false pounds ????    So, Star and I are going to work on getting our figures back.... hehehe.. I can hear Farfel chuckling now  :)

Star is home, and very happy -- digging huge holes in my backyard  :)  She is enjoying being the prinCESS..and ... I am enjoying spoiling her  :)  She's my little sweet girl  :) I am sure that one day, Farfel's memory will only bring me laughs, and happiness :)  Not yet though :(  Star is helping in her own special way :)

Patti, and Star

We are going to have some false ice cream, and some false pizza...so if we gain any weight, it won't exist ------  or something like that  :) 

Star :)

Today is Star's due date  :)  I am going to visit her today in the "maternity ward" at Easdale Kennels. I am not too worried about Star because her "other" Mommy, Nancy is taking good care  of her. I miss Star terribly :(

I told Nancy I wanted a puppy from Star's litter -- a little boy -- hopefully.  Right now it's keeping me going -- anticipation, happy thoughts, and excitement  :) I am also excited to get Star back here :)

Star and I have a special bond. It has taken awhile.  The two weeks she was here -- alone...really made a difference.  Star is definitely the Alpha girl  -- However, I do believe that for the most part she respected Farfel, and allowed him to be "The Boss," "El Jefe!"  Star is a PrinCESS :)  She follows me from room to room -- and is constantly staring at me. If I wake up in the middle of the night...she is STARING at me  :) It's weird, but in a strange way, I like it  :)

It has taken awhile for Star to accept us -- being in her face all of the time. We are huggers in this house. At first, Star shied away from hugging. I force her to receive hugs :) She is a very sweet girl.

Not only will a puppy be good for me, but I think/hope it will be good for Star. I want Star to be the Numero Uno :)  She deserves it!!  So, I think with her having one of her babies... that can happen. In no way am I a dog shrink -- but I think it could happen  :)

My house is quiet ... and sad. Honestly, I am on the verge of tears all of the time. Of course, since Farfel was such a big part of my life -- everything reminds me of him -- and Star too (but, Star will be coming back).  I received his ashes. Sad -- my big fuzzy best friend ended up in a small cookie tin type thing  :(  My ex-husband made a beautiful box for him. I had Joey (grrrr, Farfel's nemesis :) )  transfer Farfel to the box -- well...when that damn Joey opened the tin -- he made a growling sound. We laughed. It kind of reminded me of that performer on the Ed Sullivan Show -- (OK, you have to be pretty old to remember this -- I am old!)  Senor Wences, and Pedro...

Pedro was the guy in the box S'right!!

Sooo hopefully today she will have her babies -- it's a special day also, because today is the third birthday of handsome Slammer -- the daddy of the puppies  :)  

I can't wait to see my sweet little Star  :)

Patti

I love her face  :)

A note to Farfel ...

Dear Farfel,

It's been two weeks and one day -- and I miss you more and more each day!  I know you are happy, healthy, and having a great time. I am happy for that -- but extremely unhappy you are not here with me.

I took Star to Nancy's yesterday -- another loss for me :( She should be having her babies in a few days. I didn't want to part with her -- but, with Nancy she will be safe, secure, and have her babies in a very calm environment ... cuz, I don't know nothin' about birthin' no puppies!! The house is so quiet -- it was quiet with Star here -- hehehe, but.... since you don't yell at her every time she barks --she has been barking more, in her little raspy Foghorn Mary bark. I miss your bark, and your sassing, and how you would bark ferociously at the TV at those horrible dogs who were trying to make their way into our living room :)

I wish I had you back. You were such a comfort to me -- always. You were a wonderful dog Farfel -- I am so happy that we found each other  :)  I miss you.  Time hasn't healed these wounds.  You were my best friend forever -- thanks  for being you  :)

I told Nancy I wanted to reserve a puppy.  Nobody could replace you  :)   It has to be a little boy puppy :)  I think Star will like living with her son. She can be the boss  :)  We have treated Star like a little princess these last two weeks. Farfel -- I don't think she misses you, or else she hides it very well.   She is such a sweet girl.  
We love her  :)

I was thinking of names for the new puppy -- Farfel Too -- cute :)  But .... with shortening and nicknames.... we felt he would end up being called Far too ... and eventually Fart -- nope!  I can hear you chuckling. That isn't a name for an Airedale -- especially your successor  :)  We will just have to see him and decide on a good, proud Airedale name --- there can be just one ... Farfel the ONLY Airedale in the Village  :)  

Nancy offered me a "loaner"  dog -- Star's daughter from a previous litter -- I haven't decided yet.  I really haven't decided 100% on a puppy -- but, the anticipation would be good for me. I want to make sure everything is good for Star  :)  

In my weird mind -- I feel with your passing... and the puppy's arrival -- maybe somehow you two could pass each other -- and rub off on each other  :)  I guess stranger things have happened.

The Vet's office sent a very nice card. They all signed it  :)  The Doc wrote a very sweet note -- and they enclosed your paw print. It's beautiful  :) It makes me sad to look at it -- but at the same time, it makes me feel close to you. Today -- I pick up your ashes. It will be difficult.

I have to tell you about all of your wonderful friends who have been so thoughtful with their comments :) I only wish I could have those comments when I go  :)  You were a special guy  :)

Be well Farfel :)  I will miss you forever...

Love,

MOMMY

I miss your gorgeous nose  :)

Thank you :)

I want to thank all who have commented and so kindly gave me their condolences for Farfel.  New friends, old friends, cousins, family, and people I don't even know -- how wonderful you all have been to me.

Thank you for putting up with my depressing blogs, super long photo montage (I couldn't help it -- I couldn't stop!!  :) ) , and for all of your great advice :) I appreciate all of you  :)

Monday was the most difficult day. I don't regret my decision, I just wish that I never had to make that decision.  I am definitely not handling it well -- I want him back.

In about 10 days or so, I will be sending Star to Nancy, at Easdale Kennels. As I have mentioned before Star is a Seneca Airedale, and Nancy IS Seneca Airedales.  Star's babies are due around the 25th of June. So in 10 days, I will experience another loss -- Star :( Good thing though, Easdale is only about 5 minutes away from me, so --- (sorry Nancy :))  I imagine I will be coming to see Star verrrry often.  It will also be the first time in 10 years I will be without an Airedale in my life -- utter torture to say the least :(    I will probably be getting Star back  in August sometime. I have been discussing with my sons about getting another Airedale. Of course it would mean a lot to have one of Star's babies. Nothing could ever replace Farfel, but puppy breath is very healing  :)

I would also like to mention just how great my sons have been through all of this -- Ryan, who was in NYC when the decision was made was very close to Farfel.  Mark, who carried Farfel from the house, to the car, and into the vets...but couldn't stay -- very understandable, and my son Joey who was with me the entire time, and who helped me get Farfel in and out of the house, and gave him a lot of love during this sad time. I have called Joey Farfel's nemesis throughout the years -- Actually it was truly a serious case of sibling rivlary...funniest thing -- they would argue, play..etc.... like two kids  :)  Joey feels his loss deeply  :(

Sooo sweet little Star  :)  She is oblivious. I don't think she realizes or cares that Farfel the loud-mouth isn't around.  The house is soooo quiet. there is nobody attacking the TV ... nobody barking at a distant bark... nobody barking at absolutely nothing ... and nobody sassing me loudly, or barking louder when I say SHHHHHHHHH  :)  It's quiet here  --- Star is a quiet polite girl.  She is happy, healthy, and quirky  :)

Not sure if I will blog anymore.... I just wanted to thank everybody .... Thanks again to all   :)

Patti, and Star *

Oh crap.... Farfel toooooo   :)  

Such a handsome guy -- I will miss him forever!

I'm Here :)

I, Farfel, the ONLY Airedale in the Village, am no longer the ONLY Airedale in the Village. It's OK, I am at the Rainbow Bridge surrounded by so many wonderful friends -- Sweet Angel Molly (Fergi and Jake's sister), Miss Maggie (Mitch and wee Molly's sister), two lovely Lily's, little Justin, Eliot, Sybil,  and so many more friends.

At first I was confused -- I thought the Rainbow Bridge was for the gay dogs  :)

Rainbow Flag

My MOMMY did explain to me that Rainbow Bridge and the Rainbow Flag were two entirely different things. 

Rainbow Bridge

Either way, they both depict beautiful things  :)  At the Rainbow Bridge, everything is happy and full of love!!  I ran across the bridge -- zooooming!!!  My legs felt like wings!!!  I bet I can jump higher than "spring-feet" Star!!  I hope Star is keeping my MOMMY company and making her feel happy!!  She better, or else I will swoop down and steal her food  :)  

There is no pain or sadness here -- I don't miss anyone -- I just love them more and more and am so happy I have so many people who love me!! I can run up steps now --- two at a time even!!!  I can jump on the highest bed, and sleep on my back again  :)  I can sing, howl, and bark as loud as I want!!! I don't have to be on a diet!!!!  YAY!!!  Life is special here!!   I am safe, secure, happy, and not lonely!!!  

Thank you all for caring about me. It means a lot to me and my MOMMY.  You are all special people, who have special furkids! We at the Rainbow Bridge will always remain in your hearts -- forever  :) 

Love,

Farfel, the ONLY Airedale in the Village ....but one of the many at the Rainbow Bridge  :)

A special goodbye to my Lovely Miss Fergi..and Jake, my first best friend  :)

Farfel speaks........ :)

I, Farfel, the ONLY Airedale in the Village have decided to write --- it IS MY blog ya know  :)   Those who have known me, know me as a long-time blogger. I started waaay back on MySpace, where I met Jake, and the Lovely Miss Fergi (sigh).  I blogged long before MOMMY -- yes, I am the more talented one, but MOMMY does have her good qualities.

MOMMY gave me the ONLY Airedale in the Village title. She didn't think it up -- of course, she got it from a BBC series "Little Britain."  The original saying was... "I'm the ONLY Gay in the Village!"  You have to watch the show to see the humor  :)

Yes, this disease sucks !!!   There is NO dignity... and I am one dignified kind of guy  :)   Yes, I lick myself, but... with the utmost dignity  :)   And...because I can  :)  Tonight, Joey (grrrr, my nemesis) had to carry me in the house. He is skinny, and probably doesn't weigh as much as me... but... HE carried me in... ugh --- THEN...as I was laying on a soft blanket, the torturer, decided to drag me to the back door -- on the blanket. Well, I showed him ... I didn't go out  :)  I will go out later with my MOMMY -- I hope. I am pretty tired today.  My front legs are acting up!!  UGH!!  MOMMY read where it affects the tails on some dogs... well, I still wag my thumb-sized tail  :)  It is an awesome tail.

I agree with my MOMMY about not getting a wheelchair, and all of that other stuff. First, we live in a condo, and to get to the street there are steps, and... quite an incline. Welll, I can imagine being all hooked up to the chair... and Star (the interloper), giving it a little nudge -- and there I would gooooooo zooooooming down the hill without the benefit of a good butt-tuck-run. Diapers....no. I couldn't.  I have always been potty trained. It would mortify me to go in the house -- even if I would be going in diapers. I can think of nothing that would even make the idea moderately attractive. Star -- well, sometimes she leaves a little stinky present for MOMMY.  Star acts like it's the crown jewels or something.  Sometimes she gets a guilty look on her face (Star, not MOMMY).  Not often though... sometimes I think I can hear her giggling (Star, not MOMMY).

Of course I do not want to leave my MOMMY.  I haven't fully trained her yet.  Who will be there to wipe their soaking wet beard in her gentlemen (HA, very funny) caller's crotches?? Not Star, she is TOO polite!! I really wanted to get MOMMY married off -- before I go. Not sure if she wants that -- but, she could use a companion almost as smart, funny, handsome, wonderful ...( OK... you get my drift  :) ) as me  :)  There are many dating sites out there -- Christian Mingles... "Let God find your match."  Does God have to be associated with a dating site to find one's love match ??  Old people matches, Horse Lovers matches, J-Date, for the Jewish persuasion...and many others. Funny thing though.... people are totally intermingled on these sites!!!  And... most have been on these sites for yeaaaars!!   I propose someone invent an Airedale Terrier Lovers Dating site!!!  Then I know MOMMY would find the right match for her !!!  If I may add --- The Airedale Terrier Lover should also be very good looking, intelligent, funny....and RICH (hehehehe).  In return, you will be getting an Airedale Terrier Lover, who is intelligent, funny, extremely beautiful (heheheh)...and not so wealthy... but hey, if you have the money...it's all good!!   No humine man could ever replace me.... but, it's worth a try   :)

Whatever MOMMY decides is OK with me. This disease is harder on her than it is on me. MOMMY would never admit it though. MOMMY has devoted the last month to me. Her disease ... Hashimoto's ... hehehe stupid name for a disease,,,has been forgotten for now.  I hear her sniffling all of the time. When she lays down with me... my ear ends up soaked, and salty. I don't mind  :)  I know Star sneaks up to bed with MOMMY. I don't mind that either. MOMMY needs Star right now. I wish it could be me, but...it can't :( I am happy for every moment I have with MOMMY, as she is with me. For now, we are going to enjoy each other's company, and be as happy as we can  :)

Love,

Farfel

MOMMY loves and appreciates all of the comments and E-mails. She learned a new word today -- twice ... "Heart-Dog" .. yes, I am her heart-dog, and she is my heart-MOMMY  :)

Thank you everybody  :)

Heart-Dog and Heart-MOMMY  :)

Dogs are special :)

Farfel, my ONLY Airedale in the Village, has been with me since he was about 12 weeks old.  I have had many dogs in my lifetime. From my beginning there has been Togi Mar, a Boxer, Coco, a beautiful Standard Poodle, Cyrano, a Miniature Poodle, Pandora, a beautiful Mutt -- who looked like a perfect miniature German Shepherd, Pogo, a wonderful 100 pound Standard Poodle, Muffy, an Old English Sheepdog, Laika, a Samoyed, who smiled all of the time,  Pete, a Mutt, Josie, an English Springer Spaniel, Benji, a Golden Retriever, who was a wanderer, BJ, another Golden Retriever, Jazz, a huge gentle Akita, Nick, my sweet Black Lab, and finally -- Farfel.  All wonderful dogs who I was separated from by many different reasons -- Some were stolen, several died of old age, one ran away, and several were SENT away by my NON-DOG-LOVING parents. Thankfully, I did not inherit that particular trait!!!  Their loss though -- not knowing just how wonderful, loving, and being able to understand what a dog has to offer.

I wasn't an introverted unpopular kid. It isn't that I needed the friendship of a dog to keep me company. I just preferred the company of my dogs!!  I also preferred the company of horses as well. Not cats so much.  My pets offered so much more than my siblings -- and going with a typical Greek Vendetta -- my brother and sister are "dead to me!" Even though they are alive (I think, I honestly have no idea, nor do I care). Neither of them could hold a handle to any of my dogs, or for that matter, any dog, cat, vermin...snake...you get my meaning  :) Anyway, I learned from a very young age what my pets have meant to me. I find non-dog lovers to be different. People who seem to be missing something. People who I might know, but would never be close to me. I guess that would make me a judgmental racist -- that's OK with me  :)

All my dogs have been special. Farfel, however is the most special. There is nothing like a Terrier, and there is nothing like an Airedale Terrier :)   Farfel is handsome, funny, loving .. I could go on, and on  :)   He is one dog I truly have chemistry with, He gets me. He is very special to me. I am very attached to him, He has been with me through some very bad times in my life -- and because of him (seriously), I made it through.

Dogs give the most unconditional love there is -- they are a gift. Humines, who have the big brains, big educations, and life experiences could learn a lesson or two or 19 from a dog.  I only wish the men I have been in relationships over the years could even come close to Farfel. There is only ONE way they could "offer" me something Farfel could not -- and... ya know... sometimes that isn't so great -- even though the stupid men think they are "talented" Romeos  :)  Poor men  :)  Hahaha !  Farfel loves me... fat or thin...happy or sad...makeup or no makeup ... old or young... etc., etc., etc.. I could write an entire blog about Farfel compared to the men I have dated -- Farfel would win hands down :)  One more thing... have you ever known a dog to abuse their owner... or have a drinking or drug problem ??? Nope  :)

I haven't forgotten about Star!  She is beautiful, sweet, quirky, and she is obsessed with me. I got her in November of 2010. She was 5 then. Since then she has been separated from me to be bred, have her puppies...and wean her puppies. She has been bred again, and will be leaving me in a few weeks to have her next litter. It has been a process bonding with her. She has a need to feel wanted and secure. I don't know a lot about her past -- other than she was a show dog.  I don't think she was raised as a family pet. I had to force her to get on my bed and the furniture -- yes I know, how ODD for an Airedale  :)  She doesn't play with toys -- kind of nibbles them. She loves food and treats. She is a wonderful dog with the sweetest temperament. With a little work -- she now loves HER couch, and she has taken over my bed  :)   She has been very sweet during this sad time with Farfel. They still do not snuggle, and probably never will  :(

Farfel is not doing well at all. He is getting worse daily. His quality of life is dwindling. Financially I cannot get him doggie wheels, acupuncture, swimming therapy, diapers, expensive medication .... and anything else that MIGHT provide some hope -- but in the end, only prolong the inevitable. Right now Farfel is basically confined to one room. He has his little ramp to go outside -- which is getting very difficult. He does not want to go outside. It makes me sad when he finally does go out -- that he has held his pee for so long that he can hardly stand up to go anymore. Today, even with my help, he fell face first down the ramp. He fell several times when he was going to the bathroom.  He came in... went about three feet... and plopped down. He couldn't go any further. He doesn't get up when I come in the house anymore. Before (yesterday), he would get up, and hobble to me. He can't go to his toy box, take time and select just the right toy...try to break it's neck, remove the eyes...and remove all of the stuffing.   There is no dignity in this disease. There is no getting better. Even if I could financially give Farfel everything, the result is the same. I am not ready to give up on Farfel yet -- even though he is not happy...he IS bewildered, sad, frustrated, confused, and scared.  I don't want to lose him. I don't want to make an appointment for "when it's time!"  I can't even imagine how they day is going to play out -- I don't want to imagine it. This is so unfair that he (and other dogs) has to go through this...it's just wrong. I am ashamed to say......that sometimes I wish he would just go to sleep ....dream about all of the fun we used to have ... his running...his beautiful prancing....his singing...and how much we all love him .....then just not wake up.

Patti, Farfel, and Star

Very sad, but so sweet. It says it all  :) I don't know who wrote it. 

Thanks to all who have commented, and written to me. It means a lot.  I am not myself these days.

Farfel and his Festus foot :)

FESTUS

FARFEL

 

 

   












Well, no more depressing blogs!!!  Would Farfel, the ONLY Airedale in the Village want that -- NO!!  Of course he would want to be the center of every one's attention and the center of every one's Universe -- but, he is sick of all the depressing stuff -- me too  :)

I, as well as some members of my family have always used humor as a way to cope.  Instead of dwelling on my brain tumor -- I named it Hector. I named Farfel's tumor -- Anthony Weiner. I had a party right before my bilateral mastectomy-- the infamous "Ta Ta to the TaTa's" party. Making fun of myself, as well as others (behind their backs ..of course)  can help.  It's difficult for me to make light of Farfel's ordeal, or even make fun of him --- it doesn't seem right -- but, I gotta try  :)

I was letting Farfel outside today..feeling bad for him when I noticed his "limp."  He was walking kind of funny -- kind of like the Monty Python guy --- but not as much!  It dawned on me...he was walking like Festus on Gunsmoke. Remember him ?    Well, sadly, (or happy) I laughed  :)  Farfel turns around and looks at me with that WTF look on his face ...then since I was laughing, he got excited...and limped over to me...with his "Festus foot!"  I could almost hear him say .... Missssster Dillllllon....even though I am more of the Miss Kitty type  :)   


This morning was kind of sad (I said no more sad blogs -- wait, it gets better)...he was looking at the couch where Star, the PrinCESS (emphasis on the last syllable) was lounging. He wanted to get up on it ---  He put his front legs on the couch and I lifted his rear-end up .. and he sprawled...totally getting into Star's "space!" hehehee .... :)   I had to leave... and I didn't want to make Farfel get off the couch, so I put the love seat cushions on the floor by the couch (in case he tried to get off)...and was still worried that he would fall off and hurt himself.... well, I was explaining this to my son....saying how worried I was to leave him...and looked... and there was Farfel...off the couch... staring at us  :) 

He is a happy guy ... always has been.... he deserves a happy blog  :) He has no idea who Festus is.... but it's OK ... he has no idea who the Nestle's Quick dog is   ..... :)  Farfel thinks he is the ONLY Airedale in the Village named Farfel  :)

Patti, Farfel, and Star  :)

Airedale eyes ....window to the soul ..

They .. (never quite figured out who "they" are) .. say, dogs do not have souls, and therefore do not go to Heaven.. I am not an overly religious person...but being baptized, raised, and married Greek Orthodox (the wedding was longer than the marriage!).. I think I know .... some stuff  :)   My opinion --- if Heaven  is THE place to be ...and everything is perfect..then...there will be dogs in heaven, and....the majority of the dogs I have ever come across have more soul than some humines!  God made dogs.... God loves all of his creations....they will be in heaven.  If and when I go...I certainly would love for all of the dogs I have ever had, to meet me  :)  If God had a dog ...I don't think it would be an Airedale  :)  Not that the wonderful Airedale is not worthy...and I am sure that God can handle any dog....but, I see him as being more of ...Chinese Crested kind of guy ... those dogs seem to need that extra ooomph :)

OK...enough of the religious stuff --- Farfel is fading  :(   He does have good days, and moments. I continue to read for hours about his stupid disease. I called a vet in the area about a certain pill...that MIGHT delay the progression of the disease. His snarky receptionist said he was not taking in anymore patients!  I asked if I could get the drug -- she said ... Farfel would have to be a patient -- and duh, they aren't accepting anymore patients. I wonder sometimes if they (the receptionists) actually care who is on the other end of the phone. In this case -- a totally brokenhearted woman who would give her right arm to help her friend.   In reality, nothing can be done. I accept it more each day. I don't want to, but I do.

So..eyes being the window to the soul --All dogs have beautiful, soulful (yes, SOULful) eyes.  Airedales have ...ape eyes...they have eyes like the Appaloosa horse (no other horses have these eyes)...they are human-like...the sclera (whites) is very pronounced. Farfel's  looks  at me now ... like he has never looked at me before.  I, for the most part spend all day with him... and sometimes, all night.  He will lay there and kind of do a moan/growl sort of thing... and go into a whimper.  He isn't in pain -- Farfel honestly has no tolerance for pain. If he was in pain, I, as well as the whole neighborhood would know. He is sad, afraid, confused, frustrated -- and sometimes...humiliated.  He still has the most loving eyes, but.... he has lost his mischievous look.

I am really trying to think all of this through ....with the least amount of emotion (yeah right) . What is Farfel's quality of life?  If I could sit and hold him all day -- that would be great.....but I can't. I haven't run the vacuum cleaner in a very long time (I really don't care) because it really annoys him. It use to be fun for him... he would attack it... steal the attachments...  :)   He can't do that now. It just annoys him.  Farfel is smart... he knows me. He feeds off of my emotions. He knows when I have that fake happy face, and that weird happy voice. He knows. And they say dogs have no soul. 

Kubler, Ross -- their stages of grief. Spot on. Imagine feeling the different stages all day long! I wonder how many years I will be going through them ......ugh.

I wish I could say something that is positive and uplifting ... I can't. Everything I read about the disease starts out like --- Degenerative Myelopathy is a grave disease. OK --- then... it goes into discussing wheelchairs....pee pee pads....air beds....slings.....supplements.....lots of different things.... in my opinion, to prolong the agony.  Farfel isn't happy. Well, he is happy when I am laying on the floor with him... hugging him, and holding him -- which I will do until I can't do it anymore.

On a different note --- sweet little preggo Star!  She knows that Farfel is getting extra attention.  Believe me, in no way is Star neglected  :)  She wouldn't allow it!!  She is right there for hugs and cuddles too!!   It's very difficult for me to go to bed and leave Farfel downstairs.  I have the hallway blocked off so he doesn't slip and fall -- even though all bare surfaces are covered. I go to bed.. say goodnight to both of them... then... about 3 minutes later, Star sneaks up and jumps into my bed. We have "our" time  :)  I am glad I have her :)

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer... I am really thankful I have him, and have had him in my life for 10 years  :)  I also try to remain positive.  I am very happy when he has a good day, and am equally as happy when his old, stubborn, obstinate self comes out  :)   Happy or sad, it helps to write.


Patti, Farfel, and Star   :)

He is so handsome  :) 

A good day!!!

I have to admit that the last few weeks I have been understandably distraught. My head is so overloaded from all of the research I have done on the DM -- which, since I am in a better mood, I think it's deserves a better name. Last year, I named Farfel's big ugly tumor -- Anthony Weiner. Fitting since Anthony Weiner is a big dumbass, who needed to be removed from society. There are just so many names I could use for DM -- to describe it for the monster it really is ----- "Santorum Syndrome?" "John Edwardsosis?" "Ann Coulteropathy?" Wow...so many....."Mitt, I'm a douche,Romney" really doesn't sound that evil -- he is somewhat OK for a Republican Candidate..UNLESS, he asks Michelle Bachmann (OHMYGOD) to be his running-mate, then, well, I don't know -- still, it wouldn't be a good name for such a heinous disease, more like a good name for crabs, scabies, or genital warts!  "RomneyBachmannOhNotheItchitis!"   I think I will just call it HITLER!  Good name for a  fiendishly horrid disease that is ......afflicting my best bud!

So, yeah, I was distraught. Still am in a way -- but.... Farfel is not getting better (that won't happen) but he had a very good night last night, and so far a very good day!!!  He went out -- his wobbly way, did his business -- without falling, and even waited partially on the ramp for me to let him inside!~!!  He has done this three different times so far, and ... it's a good thing. His appetite is wonderful, and he seems very happy and less frustrated today. We even played with a ZuuZuu pet (one of the grandheathens), and... being his normal self, when he got bored with it, he tossed it away with his paw --- after slobbering over it   :)  Star, on the other hand, looked at her ZuuZuu pet -- suspiciously, then in a very dainty way, nibbled it -- until it started to "talk" ..she looked away like it didn't exist  :)  She is so cute and weird  :)

I am not going to be fooled by this false sense of security, I am just very happy that he is having a good day,, and I don't have such sad, and dismal feelings.

I have to thank everyone for such nice and kind comments -- and advice. Even though I have never met most of you -- there was ONE time that Sally, Nina, Jake, and LOVELY Miss Fergi were just a few short miles from me -- but.. I was working  :(  --I feel close to all of you!!  Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!

So, if you don't mind, I will continue my ramblings. It helps. From day to day they may have a bit of a bipolar twist --- up -- down -- up down -- but ... hey, that makes it interesting  :)

One thing -- I read an article today about how Marijuana helps humines with MS. Since the HITLER disease is very similar in dogs I was thinking about it for Farfel. Even if it doesn't help him, he would probably be in a very good mood  :)  I am Joking  :)   One thing I truly love about Farfel is  the fact that he isn't a pothead!  If he was he would probably listen to really mellow(UGH) music -- and  be waaay too laid back for me  :)    I don't think he would look good in dreads -- save those for the Pulis :)

Patti, Farfel, and Star  :)

OH -- Farfel says he would never be a pothead because he couldn't bring himself to wear Patchouli!!!  :)

Farfel has great hips -- but an awful disease :(

I took Farfel to the vet yesterday for X-rays -- hoping they would find something different than this horrible disease. They didn't. There was no arthritis or hip dysplasia. At 10-years old -- Farfel has great hips.

It was difficult getting him to the car and into the car for his appointment. At the vets, which is only like 3 minutes away...Farfel had a very difficult time maneuvering on the tile floor. The tech wanted his weight...and wanted him to stand on the scale.  Normally, I am a very agreeable person. I told her NO!  I wasn't going to torture him by making him get on the scale. He was there 3-weeks ago. He was 67.5 pounds. If he gained or lost a few pounds -- what would it matter ???  I mean really!

He couldn't make it back to the X-ray room. A different tech wrapped a towel around  Farfel and held him up -- it was sad.

My son Mark and I waited for the x-rays to be finished. Finally they brought Farfel out -- with the towel, and him hating every second of it.  I went in to speak to the vet. Bad news. I expected it -- but...you never know. I was hoping like crazy that it was something else, or he needed an operation --- or something.  The vet -- who is wonderful, and has been very kind throughout all of this was surprised at how much  Farfel deteriorated in 3-weeks. I think he thought I was exaggerating when I spoke to him on the phone. I wasn't...  :( 

Farfel couldn't walk, so the Doc picked him up and carried him to the car. I told him he didn't have to, I had my young, very muscular son with me (he was paying the bill at the time) .... but. the Doc said ..no, he wanted to do it .... I felt very good, and very sad at the same time.  He put Farfel in the back seat, very gently, I told him thanks....and...it was like we both knew, but didn't say that the next time he saw Farfel, he would not be coming home with me  :(

We came back home...and Farfel looked like a King (which he is) sitting in the back seat  :)  Airedales have great faces...especially noses...and the best facial expressions -- Farfel's are the best (of course, I am biased)...!!!!!!    My son scooped him up...and carried him into the house. He put Farfel down on this huge pillow and blanket bed I have on the living room floor. Yes -- I moved furniture for my best friend -- I would do anything for him...and I mean it!!

After Farfel's ordeal, I expected him to be tired. He ate just fine. drank lots of water, and had a few treats!!!  Star was very happy to see Farfel...and gave him a good sniffing-over!!  He had strange dogs smell on him  :)   Farfel snapped at her. She didn't seem to mind ...she is a sweetheart  :)

Later ...Farfel could not get up at all!  He would try, and he would fall down.  He was so confused and frustrated. It was so sad to see him go through it.  I knew he had lots of water, and food, and needed to go out. I wouldn't have cared if he went in the house -- he wouldn't.  Finally I got him up and he wobbled to the door and down his little ramp ..... he wobbled went to the grassy area....and fell down, and couldn't get up.  My son Ryan and I tried to get him up .. with a towel, he just couldn't do it.  I called Joey....and Joey came over and since Joey is Farfel's nemesis (joking)....he tried everything in his power to get up....we got him in the house with the aid of the towel. Farfel plopped down, and would get up. He couldn't.   I stayed with Farfel all night.  He whimpered most of the time. When he couldn't see me he would cry.  I have never felt such sadness in my life.

This morning... I knew he HAD to go out. It had been almost 15 hours since he went to the bathroom.  He wouldn't get up. Finally I said.... Joey is outside!!!  He gets up..starts barking....and wobbled to the door.  He went outside...and took the longest pee pee, I have ever seen him do  :)  Remind me of that scene in Austin Powers.  He wobbled around a little more to find the right spot for a poo....and with his last bit of strength ... did his business.  Normally....Farfel would take a long time to find the right spot... he would do a little... then find another spot....do more... then find another spot ... :)   It was difficult to clean up after him on walks  :)  He had to be different  :)   He came in... seemed very relieved... and plopped down.  

I had an appointment... and Joey came over to sit with Farfel ...and Star.  He (Farfel) was frantic when I got home.  Joey seemed very sad -- he is sad.  I calmed Farfel down....and he is now resting comfortably.   I don't know what to do. Farfel is not happy like many of the dogs with DM. He is scared, frustrated, and confused.  I do not want to be the judge ... who decides whether my best friend lives or dies...and when. I also do not want to see my best friend sad, frustrated, scared, or confused -- when his quality of life would be plopped down -- never being able to run... or find just the right spot to poo!!!   Not to sound like a freak, but it was waaaaay easier being the person who decided to have my father taken off life support.

It helps to write....kind of rambling... but they are my thoughts. Hopefully .. Farfel, the ONLY Airedale in the Village... will feel up to writing something soon   :)


Patti, Farfel, and Star!

Best New Year's date --EVER!!!

Stupid, Dumb, Awful Disease!

I wish I had something positive and miraculous to say about Farfel's condition -- like wow,  we, Farfel and I, just woke up from the same bad dream, and he is walking fine!!! That didn't happen. We are still in this same Degenerative Myelopathy nightmare.

I am probably on the Internet hours and hours daily to find out as much  as I can about this disease. It's all the same. No good outlook. I have corresponded with several people who have all given me very good advice and support, which I appreciate very much.

He now has a ramp to get outside. It works great and he seems very happy with it -- Star, however, is not happy with it! She is suspicious of the strange contraption, and leaps over it so her dainty feet do not have to touch it!!

On a happy note -- Star's "other" mommy wrote a very nice blog about her upcoming litter :) Here is the link: http://smartairedales.wordpress.com/     This particular blog is all about Star  :)  The previous blog is about Star's baby daddy  -- "Slammer" what a great name!  As for sweet Star -- she is beautiful, very smart, very polite, well-mannered, calm (Yes... for an Airedale!). She is very athletic, She has the most beautiful build, and a wonderful happy attitude. She is also a bit of a diva -- but only because we spoil her  :)   She is a beautiful Airedale, as well as Nancy's other Airedales.  Recently through all of my Farfel ordeal, Nancy groomed him.  He needed it badly, but I honestly didn't want to torture him. Well, I knew Nancy would give him extra special care. I have taken Farfel to Easdale since about 2004.  He has always been treated wonderfully, and has never had any fear about getting his hair done  :)   This last time was no exception. With his limitations, Nancy made him look  as handsome as ever. He was just -- understandably, tired.  I've never had to kennel Farfel because I have been lucky to always have someone care for him if I have been gone. The kennels are beautiful, and clean, and the grounds are even more beautiful. Yes, I know this sounds like an advertisement -- but, there are many people I appreciate in going through this whole thing with Farfel, and Nancy is one of them. Because of Nancy, Farfel has been wonderfully groomed all of these years, and because of Nancy, I have Star.   I  don't know if Farfel will be able to be groomed again due to the progression of this "effing" disease.  I am taking him to the vet today for x-rays -- wishful thinking in hoping it's something else -- and, I don't think he will be able to walk to the car,  get in the car, get out of the car, an walk into the vets. It's getting really tough for him.

So, hopefully  I will get good news today. If not, well, Farfel and I will continue to go through this together. Star helps too :)  Even though one of Farfel's biggest enjoyments is growling and muttering at her  :)  She doesn't mind. She  even kissed his ear the other day :)  Hopefully ...soon.... they snuggle....hehehe  doubtful :)

I LOVE Him!

Patti, Farfel and Star  

:)

MY B.F.F.F. --My Best Friend Forever, Farfel!

I, Farfel, the ONLY Airedale in the Village, have not blogged in a coon's age -- depending on the coon!  Today, I think I will let MOMMY do the writing, so without any further ado, here's MOMMY!!!

Several weeks ago Farfel was diagnosed with Degenerative Myelopathy, or DM. It is basically the same disease as Multiple Sclerosis in humines. Since the diagnosis, he has deteriorated every day.  He has probably been getting progressively worse over the last year, but due to my stupid health issues, I really didn't notice, or thought it was old age, or -- the fact that Star is younger, and very bouncy. Don't get me wrong, Farfel has never been ignored, but many of the symptoms are very subtle. 

DM is a despicable disease. The spine deteriorates to the point of paralysis in the back legs. As far as I know, and according to what is written about the disease, Farfel does not feel any pain.  He does however feel fear, and frustration. I have had many serious upsets in my life, but none have made me feel this sad -- every minute of every day.  

Farfel is my best friend. I cannot begin to describe how much he means to me. From the first time I laid eyes on him, I knew he would be special, and he is, very special. Here is a bit of his backstory -- I saw him at a pet store -- not one of those chain stores, but a store that sells pups from local litters -- or at least that is what they led me to believe. Farfel was from a litter from Sugarcreek, Ohio -- Amish Country, and they are the worst when it comes to puppy mills, cruelty to animals, and much more. Gee, they (Amish) come across so sweet and religious  ---riiiight!  Anyway, aside from his sordid past, he turned out to be a wonderful guy --- except for the fact that Yoder (the breeder) cropped his tail like a sheep!!  It never bothered Farfel though -- he thinks he is normal and even makes fun of Star's long very waggly tail!!  

Then there is Star!  To Farfel she is his niece, sister, ....well,in reality, she is an annoyance to him, but a cute one!!!! Star is pregnant again, and should be having her babies around the end of June. It wasn't the best of time for her to get pregnant because of my health issues, as well as Farfels, but there was a miscommunication -- I took her to get groomed, and when I called to pick her up she was in another state being bred. or as my son likes to describe it --"She was kidnapped against her will, taken across state lines and raped repeatedly!"  Not the case, but it makes for a good story. It's all good. Star has very beautiful, very smart healthy babies!!  I just don't want to be apart from her when she has her babies, and caring for them -- but, maybe things happen for a reason -- Farfel may need 100% of my attention at that point. Star is the biggest sweetheart, and so well mannered, and polite -- very quirky, but I love quirky!!  It's sad though..Star does her play bow....and Farfel  can't  :(

There is no good outcome to Farfel's disease. His body and movements will deteriorate, but his mind will remain the same. He has become needy, and clingy, which is fine with me.he gets panicky when I have to leave. He can no longer come upstairs and sleep in my room. I have stayed downstairs many times with him, and would continue to do so, but one of my Docs insists I need rest in order to manage my Hashimoto's disease -- yes it sounds like a sumo wrestler, and yes, I  look like a sumo wrestler!  It's very hard for me to have gone from a size two to a size FAT in a few months!

There are doggie wheelchairs, water therapy, and expensive drugs which may or may not slow the progression of the disease. Euthanasia always comes up as a solution. I don't know what to do. Farfel is doing OK now, but even though he is not suffering pain wise, I know he is suffering as far as his fear and frustration...and the confusion. He doesn't know why this is happening to him. How can I explain it to him?  How can I tell him not to feel bad when he ...for no apparent reason, falls down. He loves to go on walks. How do I explain to him why he can only go 30 feet and he has to lay down? I don't know if I am physically or mentally strong enough to go through this ...but, I will do my best. He is my best friend. He would and has been there for me. He doesn't deserve this. 

Patti, Farfel, and Star  :)

My very dear "Dog Lover" friends here and on FB will understand -- to others that do not understand, or say "They're just dogs, or he's just a dog!"  Your loss ...and if you read this and feel that way -- delete me!